this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

F-35 fighter jet. You try to resell that shit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd go bankrupt 0.00001 seconds into the maintenance cycle

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

The ECU is unable to communicate with the rear RWR antenna, please contact your local Lockheed Martin dealership for service

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

I'm sure China would put in a bid for one, your life wouldn't be worth living after though you would need serious plastic surgery a new identity and even if you moved to China I'm pretty sure you would have a accident eventually.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They found me, I don't know how but they found me

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

RUN FOR IT, MARTY!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Atomic Basketball Supermen don't grow themselves, bub.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago

somebody else's kidney

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

As a normal person with no underground connections, maybe a significantly sized diamond? I don’t even know where to begin to be able to sell it. And any stolen large diamond will definitely raise alarms if I bring it anywhere legal to sell.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Find a shady diamond dealer in Morocco, that's how my uncle managed it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Or just any ol pawn shop on the bad side of town. Those guys never notify the police, even when they're legally obligated to do so. Although, if you go to the wrong pawn shop and they know it's stolen, they might just jack you themselves.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Something valuable you say....hmmm, let me think about it for a sec

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Don't forget to rub it with lemons to make the invisible ink visible

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Hold on a minute! I'm taking my minute back

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

A famous work of art like the Mona Lisa, maybe? It would be super hard to steal and you might not be able to fence it because it's too hot. Something like that would immediately go viral on the news and everyone on the planet would be looking out for it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

some people steal art just for the thrill and don't even attempt to sell

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Stolen AGAIN?! (The theft plays a part in the painting's fame.)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

I understand from some podcast that the Mona Lisa is famousbecause it was stolen. Before that it was just another painting.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

You are worth it!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

That's not necessarily valuable, exactly. Yes, companies charge a lot for consumer ink jet printer ink, but prices go down dramatically when you're talking about commercial printing. A two liter bottle of high-end dye sublimation ink runs about $200 (might be up since I last bought in 2021), and the dye sublimation ink for the HP printer I operate costs about $700/10L.

If your printer has replaceable print heads that aren't part of the ink cartridge, and if you can retrofit a bulk ink system, then you quickly find out that ink is pretty inexpensive.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A balloon on free balloon day?

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

A crude oil supertanker. It would probably break international law to sell it to anyone willing to buy it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

You'd be surprised at how many nations would be willing to break that international law for some cheap oil.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I feel like "getting away with it" has that covered, so it would be totally worth it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought the stealing part you got away with but not the selling part

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

easy fix, don't sell it. turn it into a cruise ship to launder all the oil money.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Mike will definitely knock you out.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

Trix.

Silly rabbit, trix are for kids.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Nice try, thieves. I'm not giving you any ideas for things to steal. You should steal this idea instead.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Diamonds, or any sort of gemstone, as trying to sell those things would probably be as risky as stealing them in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

But that's not valuable. It's free!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Iowa here: manure

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I guess we doin riddles now

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Incan matrimonial head masks

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Is there a lot of money in... ah... Incan... Matrimonial head masks?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Boatloads. If you can sell them, which you can’t.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Some people lack vision.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Stocks or other bonds.

They have serial numbers and can be tracked/locked out from the system.

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