this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2024
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[–] [email protected] 92 points 6 months ago (18 children)

Yes. I'm a guy, and I would love to get a girl's take on this.

Do you think Fermi's "Great Filter" is not necessarily that a civilization destroys itself, but that it discovers a way to destroy the Universe?

Like, maybe the fabric of our reality is more fragile than we realize, and the reason we don't see "aliens" is that the universe doesn't get old enough for intelligent life to meet.

Of course, this assumes we are in a statistically "average" Universe, since presumably there could be a Universe in which intelligent life co-evolves within the same solar system.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I've always felt like a lot of the assumptions in Fermi's Great Filter feels off. Like, the way we talk about "intelligent life" feels iffy, both in astrophysics and other fields. I'm not great at articulating this, but if you're one for video essays, Dr Fatima Abdurrahman recently made a video that captured much of what I'd struggled to say on this. (https://youtu.be/_tw0aqmnmaw)

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 6 months ago (1 children)

All my questions can't really be answered by just asking another person. I wanna know what it feels like to have their plumbing. Words aren't enough though. I want to experience it. At least for a day.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (8 children)

Male here. Is it true that sometimes farts unexpectedly head north and get lost in the caverns of the bubblegum forest?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago

I've heard these referred to as "exiting through the gift shop"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Lost is a bit strong, it goes exploring and is politely but firmly removed by the kegal Captains.

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 months ago (30 children)

For the males:

Could you imagine being in a relationship with a woman who takes on the “masculine role,” i.e. taking you out, taking initiative, being the breadwinner, protecting you, etc?

Asking because I’ll forever be searching for a man who wants this type of relationship. I don’t know. Reversed roles are sexy, sue me.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago (4 children)

I promise a lot of men want this.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago

In a word, fuckyeah.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago

Uh, yes, definitely. A lot of guys would like this.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago (10 children)

Is there any way for a man to compliment a woman in public without it coming across as weird, or an attempt to hit on her?
Or should I just not do that in general?

[–] [email protected] 79 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I've always been told the best thing to do is stick to complimenting things that are their choices.

Not great: That outfit makes you look good!

It's you coming off as being interested in their physical appearance, not the outfit.

Better: That's an awesome T-shirt! Where did you find that?

It's you thinking they picked out something cool or stylish and you like their taste in outfits. You're putting the attention on something they did, not anything about them appearance-wise.

Especially if they don't know you, odds are they have no desire to hear a stranger's opinion on their looks. That's too personal. But a stranger agreeing with their decision on something like buying something cool generally isn't.

Of course, some people are more or less open to any conversation with someone they don't know, so if you still get ignored or get looked at like a creep, you don't know their background and you respect that and don't persist.

A good rule to go by is if you're a guy, think of a guy coming up to you and saying the same thing or you saying what you're going to say to another guy. If you wouldn't tell another bro that he looks good wearing that, maybe don't do that to a girl. If you see a guy wearing a band shirt of a group you like though, you'd probably be ok saying "whoa, I love that band too!" or you'd be cool with some random dude telling you the same.

You shouldn't be afraid to talk to people, but you should always be respectful and keep in mind how well you know them and keep conversation at that level of appropriateness.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (2 children)

In addition to this, I've heard people say to do 'drive by compliments'. If you're not trying to start up a conversation or don't want the person to worry about a conversation, you can drop the compliment right as you're about to leave the situation. It has its downsides as well

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (3 children)

This has been my strategy. I like to compliment people because I can remember the few times it's happened to me, but I'm not trying to creep anyone out. Mostly stuff like "awesome shirt!" or "hey, sweet hat". Never "nice cock, bro". And never with the intention of starting a conversation. Mostly like passing by someone and pointing "excuse me, love the boots.", then keep on truckin' by.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago (10 children)

Yes. Why can't those of us with a vajayjay join you guys in the Freemasons? Are you talking about us in there, or what do you do in there?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Freemasons also don't let atheists in. Was a hard pass from me at that point. I'm not faking belief in some deist creator god just to join in their weird rituals and bridge clubs.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (2 children)

No idea about the Freemasons but we do talk about you on the alternate lemmy.world server port... oh wait I wasn't supposed to mention that.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago (18 children)

Sup, targeted at women.

Like, how do you deal with menstruation when it's expected soon.
I mean, do you wear a tampon/pad/cup/whatever else there is in advance, just in case or...
I guess it can't be predicted to the minute.

I guess it qualifies as a weird question.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I've never used a cup before, but I know for certain, you can't really do that with tampons, because it would be way too dry and eugh, even imagining that is making me shudder. Most women who use tampons know how unpleasant it feels to pull out a dry tampon; I have to be careful near the end of my period not to use a tampon with too high an absorbency if I want to avoid this. I may switch to pads near the end.

Periods can come without warning though. Some people have a super low flow early on, so they might get more warning (if they go pee and there's a lil blood when they wipe), but also sometimes it's heaviest at the start, which is why many women have embarrassing stories of their period taking them off guard and bleeding through their clothing onto a chair or something. Someone might wear pads if they're expecting their period - you can get lighter absorbency pads that might suit this better. Older women might wear pads like this at other times - my mum occasionally pees a little if she sneezes too hard, so she wears lightweight pads at other times of the month.

It's easier if you can predict when your period will be. I've never had a regular cycle, and I thought the whole "my period is 2 days late and I'm anxious that this might mean I'm pregnant" thing only happened in movies until a friend anxiously messaged me about it. Turns out some people do have that level of regularity - I might actually ask my super regular friend what she does when expecting her period, come to think of it. But yeah, for many people, it can't even be predicted to the day, or even the week.

Edit: reading other responses to your question made me think of amother point: even if you have irregular cycles, it can be possible to predict by various bodily signs. Something that I don't hear talked about much is how vaginal discharge changes over the menstrual cycle. When I'm ovulating, there tends to be more discharge, and it's slippery and clear, almost like egg whites in texture. At other times in my cycle, it might be more white coloured, or more creamy, or more sticky. I find it gross and fascinating in equal measure — sometimes I'll just stick a finger up there to check if I'm unsure where I am in my cycle

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (21 children)

Why don't some of you high five me when I get drunk? When I'm drunk enough, I highfive EVERYONE on the street! Never been high five rejected by a guy on the bar crawl, and some women are happy to high five.......but some get defensive, and reserved, like they think my hand is poison!

Y U NO HIGH FIVE???

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (4 children)

The only people that have ever high fived me are assholes that put all their strength into it. Then my hand burns in pain for the next 30 minutes. I don't want more abuse from another drunk asshole .

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (6 children)

In my case it's because often even the slightest bit of humor or attention or willingness to play along with the bit gets me way more unwanted attention than I bargained for. If I respond like a person wanting to have a little fun with another person and it gets me treated like a thing they can now win and possess, the genuine human interaction has been tainted by the implication that it wasn't genuine, there was always a motive and, because I played along, I'm now not a person to be interacted with, I'm a thing to be owned. I'd rather just not do the thing if that's one of the possible outcomes. And yeah, that's why I tend to not go out anymore.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

I'm a no touching person, and no amount of drunk will stop me from being a no touching person.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (9 children)

Ladies, I'm partially physically disabled, stuck laying down 80% of the time, and rarely ever leave a home. Still in my 30's, but actually fit and don't look half bad by most accounts. However, I'll never get better physically. If there is someone out there for everyone, who is out there for me? Can you convince me to believe you, as I'm totally resigned to solitude.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago

I truly hope you find someone mate.

Not a woman but I’m still gonna give you the only advice I can: never ever give up as that is the only option that has a guaranteed outcome. If you are as awesome in person as you seem, I’m both rooting for you and a believer in your future.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

I'm a lesbian and my partner is also partially disabled. She manages her conditions but as far as we know, it's as good as it will get. (I have chronic issues too but I am typically mobile.)

We like to game together. We watch movies together. She also games with her friends and I go out and do other more physically demanding activities with my own friends. We like to discover new food and talk about politics.

We found that our sense of humor and morality aligns well and we enjoy each other's company. That and the fact that she was independent drew me to her.

Good luck out there.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (14 children)

I'm a guy.

Question: on several intimate occasions with more than a few partners I have notice partners will cup my pecks..

It makes me feel self-conscious and would like to know why some of you cup pecks? 🫠

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ha I cup my man's pecs because they're there. I believe it may be the same reason men like to honk ours. Honk

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (12 children)

I have a question for the opposite gender: what's your gender?

I don't know what the opposite of my gender is

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (9 children)

Yeah there's one that I've wondered for a while now. Awhile back, I found out that women don't have prostates but they can still feel pleasure from that hole. How can they feel pleasure from that hole if they don't have a prostate?

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