this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Even the olive, while not liquid, is kinda mushy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is a dehydrated olive a thing? I hate olives with a passion, but maybe that’s a thing my wife would like.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

When you get them on pizza they are kinda dried out, so I imagine so?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I ordered a mudslide from that guy and there wasn't a bit of mud in it

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago

Well yeah, it slid off...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"I'll have a screwdriver"

"Sir, Home Depot is two blocks over."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

"one hurricane please"

"This is Nevada, try New Orleans"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don't even get me started about sex on the beach.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I ordered a blowjob and just got slapped across the face

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well, duh, to make a dry martini, you are suppose to dry all the liquid ingredients in a tumble dryer first before you mix them, of course.

Why else do you think James Bond always asks for his "dry" vodka martini to be "shaken, not stirred"?

Source: former bartender and current frontrunner to replace Daniel Craig as James Bond

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

As you obviously understand the best way to properly dry a martini (what kind of loon would line dry the component liquids), you have my vote!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

I was wondering this too, so I looked it up

From Google:

First, 'dry' indicates that very little vermouth has been added to the cocktail, so the gin is the primary focus. The typical ratio is 6 parts gin to 1 part vermouth. However, order 'extra dry' and you'll get the slightest splash of vermouth, or even just a glass-coating wash.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

When talking about alcoholic drinks, "dry" is just the opposite of sweet. Vermouth has a slight sweetness to it, so use less vermouth to make the drink "dry".

Personally I like my martinis "dirty" (extra olive juice), with a good amount of vermouth. Sweet and salty with the floral notes of the gin in the background. If I wanted to just taste the gin then I'd put it in a shot glass and drink it straight instead.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I just want to second the dirty gin martini.

I've never been a fan of the martini, but dirty gin is excellent.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Alcohol culture...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Gin, you want gin in a fancy glass

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Wave a sealed bottle of vermouth near it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Slow your roll there, cowboy!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

It's just the mouth parts of animals like rats and stuff.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Type of fortified (i.e. with added spirits) wine flavored with herbs

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think it is fairly foul. It doesn’t seem to add much to cocktails and adds a bitter aftertaste.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

That is a feature, not a bug

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

My city has a "no straight spirits" rule for bars, it's a failed attempt to stop binge drinking

So I would order whisky on the rocks, hold the ice

Were I a gin fan it would be a "perfectly dry martini"

The bar staff agree the rule is stupid and are usually happy to work around them. Binge drinking in bars hardly happens anyway as it is too expensive, we have very high alcohol taxes, except on wine.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago

My buddy went to the bar at university and asked for a manhattan to see what they'd do, they handed him a bud light.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Pro tip: Use molten lava. Lava is a liquid, but I don't think anyone describes it as "wet".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Lava doesn't adhere to a surface like water, it won't climb the walls of it container slightly. That is to say, it won't wet a surface, like water or flux will.

At least I don't think any kinds of lava or magma do. Maybe there's a variety that does?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Water is just the lava of ice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Maybe there’s a variety that does?

Magma from borax, lime, or galena? All are definitely minerals and definitely fluxes.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Idiot. You're supposed to mix a nartinit, drink it, and give her the dry glass. Bro probably just cock blocked himself.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

When your dick is a non-orientable, self-intersecting manifold.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

As a bartender this is always a fun one when training lol. Perfect teaching moment.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Martini, extra dry, wet on the side, gaseous and plasma forms in secure containers.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

If it's not on the side, I'll send it back.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Add additional liquids to make a liquor dry. It's practically chemistry!