Me burning to death fixing pylint warnings before I can commit my code.
this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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Melting because someone didn't configure the right profile and now isort and black are fighting over imports.
Why is the wrong version always the one that is posted.
The (in my eyes) correct (and iirc original) version is:
- Git commit
- Git push
- Get out*
*as someone pointed out (and I remember it as well, but thought I rembered it wrong and corrected it, shame on me in this context) the last point may be originally "git out"
That is so much better 👍
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Merge conflict
Here at Company Inc, we continue to send our thoughts and prayers to the 38 interns who perished in the office fire of '07. Sixteen years later, we still mourn the loss caused by this unpredictable, unpreventable, and unlitigatable accident. We hope that, in time, the grieving families of those interns are eventually able to move on with both their hearts and their loved ones' funeral expense debts.
Should've pulled first before starting your work.
Sometimes my work takes a while and other people push in the meantime. Guess I'm dying the fire.
Then you pull before committing.
Boom, merge conflict. The only thing left to me is force push and delete everyone's changes.
Eh, it's probably fine. Those chumps don't do anything useful.
On a push? What are you merging there?
Ofc, you might be working directly on develop/master/shared branch, I know people that work in those environments (ew)
Right, on shared branch you might need to pull first if you're out of date (and you would be if you're all leaving the office at the same time), and that could cause a merge conflict.
It's like I always said, bad branching strategies are a fire safety issue.
i read a reddit post years ago where a someone wrote a script that iterates through all the projects in their dev folder, for each project creating a new branch, committing and pushing.
they then aliased it to "fire" or "panic" or something like that.
not a bad idea really
As in one they'd manually run if there was a fire?
Exactly. The alias just points to the script which is executed.
Ohh I see so you just run git fire?
if its aliased you should be able to just run "fire" and it does the rest
Oh bash alias right
Slight correction. In case of fire:
Git checkout -b firemyusername Git commit -am="fire" Git push.
We don't want to have conflicts with code versions when going in on a rush, better to create a new branch. We can merge all the conflicts afterwards.
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Cause of death: 15 minute long pre-push hook
Just
git add . && git commit -m "sorry theres a fire" && git push -u origin feature/fire
And run out. It will eventually finish pushing. Or not.
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In case of
Git commit
Git push origin main --force
Fire
*git out
*git -tf out
What about git add?
"I followed the rules, Boss. Not my fault the rules are stupid 🤷♂️"
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Counterpoint: Virtualized environment/remote desktop. The real computer is in a data center hundreds of kilometers away with world class fire suppression systems.
Counter counterpoint: If you're virtualized you might be working from home, in which case, that's rough, hope they manage to restore your house.
With a laggy desktop experience i also can't really configure how i want? No thank you. It's bad enough i have to use Windows for software development instead of letting me install Linux
I like it because I don't have any of the company's shit on my own machine. I absolutely don't trust them not to spy on my personal computer use if they had access to it. With remote desktop I close it at the end of the work say and it has no more access to my computer than I have access to their critical systems.
In my case, their shit that we're required to use don't even support Linux so if it wasn't for virtualized environment I'd had to install Windows on my own machine.
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Mark this shit NSFW. I could have viewed it at work.
And if your git repo is self-hosted on-prem, you'd better be helping pack it and carry it out.
no changes added to commit (use "git add" and/or "git commit -a")
It should (at least) be:
git commit -a -m "🚨🔥🚨"
git push --force
Better, create a new branch and push it to origin(?).
Better have not created any new files tho - git commit -a doesn't catch those without an add first.
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I've got something similar on my office door that reads
In case of fire git commit -a git push git -tf out
First, git checkout -b omgFire, then do the rest.
This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Anyway any of you ever heard of ACID? Why aren't our undo buffers durable and integrated with version control? Squash and forget the individual keystrokes as soon as an actual commit is made.
Commit message: It's lit🔥🔥🔥
If the flames are nearby I would be so reckless and execute git push --force.
I don't want to die for a merge conflict.
But maybe then the team will burn me later.
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Sorry to be that guy but I don't think it's smart to put this anywhere in public, keep this shit somewhere private as a joke
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