This question pops up every now and then on social media and it always blows my mind that there are people who wipe standing up. I just don't understand the logistics of it and it seems like it would make things more difficult.
this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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I wipe in a position that is more like squatting, because standing up clenches the cheeks making it harder to clean, but sitting leaves the possibility of potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl.
It is the superior way, embrace the squat wipe.
potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl
Only in those strangely deep american toilets
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I just feel that the International Ass Wiping Authority guidance 27881 should be followed. By standing the cheeks close slightly, which what the hell, why would I want to wipe that. I do understand the white paper, “Stank Bowl finding 87712-b” outlined the wack idea of wiping over the nuclear blast you just left introduces some risk, but it’s not significant enough to stand up and introduce additional ass closing issues.
We don’t stand that way. It’s “standing” in the sense the butt comes up off the toilet. But the overall posture is still “sitting”.
Ok so the Council of Auditable Shats (1998 conference) did mention this is a good hybrid deployment model.
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Makes me think about the video with the huuuuge bulky black man thought everyone pooped in their hands and caress it gently into the water.
For the life of me I cannot tell if that was a bit or not
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I installed a bidet during the big Covid lockdown. Now, I just do a little butt bounce and drip dry a moment. Then while sitting, just need 4 squares to pat dry.
Bidet is the way.
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I wipe captain Morgan style. Standing up, with one foot up on the toilet seat. That way I can scrape up in there.
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Sit for the broad strokes, stand for the detail work. One foot up on the sink when standing, not bent over forward.
What kind of shits are you taking where there’s a ceremony involved
This must be fun in public restrooms
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Sitting, why tf would you stand? I'm already seated and standing up is totally unnecessary.
My ass and thighs are where most of my weight is stored so there's very little room to stick my hand in without neatly moving my dick and balls outta the way
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My favorite place to shit is at home because that means I don't have shoes on and can slip one leg out of my pants allowing me to spread my legs more. Wiping while sitting allows you to incorporate using the seat to help keep your cheeks spread. The first wipe is a light touch so as not smash and smear but still catch any dingleberries. Second wipe is placing folded square over the hole and using a finger to work into any skin folds or creases. Continue as needed...
Additional tip. Slip one arm out of your shirt so it doesn't accidentally rub against the seat hinges or back of the lid.
Also when involving shits of the more liquid variety, don't forget to wipe your cheeks. Liquid will run down to the lowest point before dripping, and this can often be far away from the hole.
What? Is this some kind of obesity problem?
I'm actually fairly fit. I just always felt more comfortable standing and wiping than sitting down
The real shit (pun intended) is having a bidet and not buying into big toilet paper.
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People wipe standing up?
there's people for everything, imagine the most bonkers absurd but still vaguely feasible thing and at least 10 people out there consider it to be the norm and find not doing it equally absurd.
Yea I guess there's someone who read this thread and thought "people wipe sitting down?"
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Use a bidet. The idea sounds weird- a toilet that sprays water up your ass. I wasn't sure it was for me. Then I tried it. Holy fuck game changer. FULLY clean EVERY time.
But yeah, sitting down. Finish the dump, run the bidet, then wipe to dry, all while sitting.
Standing up I feel like I clean better, I don't understand the mechanic of doing so while sitting, I mean do you pass the TP under your balls and wipe? Or do you lift your butt a little and wipe thru the gap?
Also considering buying a bidet.
Prefer sitting down. Got me trusty rag on a stick.
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