this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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I was taking my daily mid-morning poop today and while I was wiping, I thought, I wonder how most people wipe.

I tend to wipe while standing up cause it's more comfortable and allows for more cheek-spreaditivity.

So, I beg the question: How does most of Lemmy wipe? Do you wipe while standing up or do you wipe while sitting down? Why?

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[–] [email protected] 136 points 1 year ago (9 children)

This question pops up every now and then on social media and it always blows my mind that there are people who wipe standing up. I just don't understand the logistics of it and it seems like it would make things more difficult.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wipe in a position that is more like squatting, because standing up clenches the cheeks making it harder to clean, but sitting leaves the possibility of potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl.

It is the superior way, embrace the squat wipe.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl

Only in those strangely deep american toilets

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wouldn't deep make it harder to dip your hand in?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

deep water, as in strange high water line, not deeper bowl

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I just feel that the International Ass Wiping Authority guidance 27881 should be followed. By standing the cheeks close slightly, which what the hell, why would I want to wipe that. I do understand the white paper, “Stank Bowl finding 87712-b” outlined the wack idea of wiping over the nuclear blast you just left introduces some risk, but it’s not significant enough to stand up and introduce additional ass closing issues.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We don’t stand that way. It’s “standing” in the sense the butt comes up off the toilet. But the overall posture is still “sitting”.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Ok so the Council of Auditable Shats (1998 conference) did mention this is a good hybrid deployment model.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

You need a slight forward tilt for separation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Makes me think about the video with the huuuuge bulky black man thought everyone pooped in their hands and caress it gently into the water.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

For the life of me I cannot tell if that was a bit or not

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Works fine and I’ve anyways done it that way…

I’ve tried sitting but feels wrong…

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Funny how I'm the other way around.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It provides excellent access to the ass

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Children learn to stand up to wipe because thats the only way they can reach. Some people never learn otherwise.