Ask Lemmy

My reaction would be "holy shit you're actually still alive."

Convenient since my mum passed away a few days ago actually.

They’ve been together over 40 years, I’d be fairly surprised. But if that’s who they are, I’d obviously support both of them.

I’d be fucking pissed. You disowned me for how fucking long over my queerness and were gay the whole time‽

If mom was still alive and gay I’d be surprised but happy for her and probably try to set her up with someone. She actually took me to my first gay bar.

One of my kids is trans and pan. The other is lesbian. My niece is trans and lesbian. My other nibling (look it up) is gender-fluid. My sister is bisexual. My aunt was lesbian. I have multiple gay uncles and grand-uncles.

There are a lot of LGBTQ+ people in my extended family, on both sides, and it's not a small family. So if either came out as gay, I wouldn't be particularly surprised.

Especially if it's my mother, who is already out as bisexual.

As for how I'd react? Mostly by saying, "Thank you for telling me, that must have been very hard for you." No recrimination or anger, of course. I love my parents, and either of them coming out wouldn't affect that in the slightest.

My mom? Thank heavens, her taste in men is TRASH. Surely her taste in women has to be better.

Dad? I'd tell whoever told me that I don't care what my dad is up to.

Any gay person who comes out in my circle will get unconditional support.

My mother loathes the fact that my brother is gay, not even for religion reasons but because she's psychotic, so for her to come out would be highly satisfying because then maybe I could make her feel bad about it the way she makes him feel, cunt that she is.

I know they won't, because my parents are devout Muslims.

My actual parents, or hypothetical parents?

My real ones, it would be fine. They've always backed me being active with gay rights issues going back to the eighties. They had no issues with my openly gay friends. They even let two of those friends live with us for a while. So, if it turned out they were gay the entire time, it might be a bit surprising that it took so long to come out to me, when I'm the extended family's established "safe out" person; I'm the one the people in the family come to for that because I've been very open about support.

Hypothetically, if it weren't my actual parents, it would really depend on the circumstances how I would show support. Someone coming out to you is a big deal. They'll have individual needs and hopes from the decision, so navigating that without a history to pull from for predicting those needs and hopes can be thorny.

Like, some folks want the support to be super casual, like "Yeah? Cool, what's for dinner?". Others might need hugs and reassurance, or calm verbal recognition, or even celebration. It could be anything; there's some folks that want/need it to be a little opposed or otherwise rocky because they can't believe, in their hearts, that it's possible for it to go smoothly. Without a little "drama", they stay stressed. Mind you, I'm not really able to do real drama, though I can fake being upset it didn't happen sooner as long as I can make it lighthearted and a little jokey.

Seriously, anyone reading this far, be the person that people come out to early on in their process of coming out. It's such a beautiful thing to be part of.

it would deeply pain me that they've had to suffer staying in the closet for so long, but i would be happy that they are now free to be what they feel they need to be.

I can’t know how I would react unless that actually happens.

This is really important for people to understand.

I'd be very surprised because neither of them have ever struck me as even so much as being bi (and I am, so I feel like my gaydar is at least tuned in a bit), but if either of them did come out, I would of course be very supportive.

I would feel very sorry for both of them.

My parents are in their 80s. They've been married 50+ years. I know that they came very close to divorce at one point, and ultimately only stayed together because their religion says that you shouldn't divorce (except in cases of physical abuse and infidelity). To discover that they had stayed married, and both of them miserable, for 50+ years because of a bullshit religion would be heartbreaking.

I'd be surprised since neither has wanted anything to do with me for over a decade

I'd probably have to help my mom accept herself, but she's actually open minded when engaged in sincere conversation. I'd probably have to help her reconcile her faith with her sexuality, which won't be too hard. She's actually one of "the good ones," when it comes to being very Christian but also the parent of a queer child. (Me)

My step-dad would be interesting. If he came out it would be a genuine shock given he is a bigot. While it might feel really good to point and laugh at him, and not care what happens after he comes out to his very conservative family, thinking on it I'd rather offer my support to him and maybe gain an ally. I could at the very least be out to him. I'm not currently because I don't know how he'd take it and I live in his house.

My dad's dead. If he was alive I wouldn't be a part of his life. If someone told me he came out, I would say, "Neat!" Then move on with my day.

"Mom's a lesbian and alive? 😱"

Honestly, I’d chuckle to myself and then let them know that doesn’t absolve them of the decades of hell they put hundreds of kids through by being very vocal against it in community leadership. They have some cleanup to do. I’ll help with the cleanup, but you got some cleanup to do.

Oh look, that dumb shit pile of ash is still a dumb shit pile of ash, but now it's even more hypocritical and has dicks in it.

I did not have great parents....

Well, my step-mom already came out to me as bi as soon as I came out to her, so that would be a bit anticlimactic, but if she decided to come out in a more public way I’d be happy for her.

My other parents are all dead, so that would be very weird.

“I hope it wasn’t too hard on you; I’m thankful it took you some time to figure out but I'm glad you did”.

My dad surprised, my mom I sorta see it.

“Congratulations on coming out and I’m so glad you trust me.”

Probably disown me

Edit: read the question wrong. Pretty surprised tbh but whatever, I'm fine with it.

"Wait a second. The how i was..." [Fading away into nonexistence]

I'd laugh and walk away shaking my head. It's a kinda hard to explain but it's them being in that situation thing. If my brother or sister did I'd be fine not really react as it's not a big deal.

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I would find it completely uninteresting. Everyone has a type.

I won't react

Would be hilarious knowing them but I'd support them for sure.

Depressed that they'd hidden it for so long.

My dad was almost a duplicate of the ex-Marine neighbor in the movie American Beauty. So, 1) I would not be too surprised but 2) if he came out to you your life is in danger.

My mom would never have actually come out either. She would have insisted that, “Oh, don’t be crude! She and I are just good friends,” until death.

It doesn't change anything in my life particularly, as long as my parent is happy, why would I really care who they choose for a partner?

Well, my mother's name is a male name where we live. So not much would change.