Ask Lemmy

No. I got married before online dating existed

Is that a problem I'm too tall to understand?

My ex did tell me I'm shorter than she wants her bf to be. I was still talker than her by 2-3 inch but she wanted me taller than her in heels. And suggested I do exercises to get taller.

I ended it with her soon after that. I think if someone has thought like that, there are other common patterns that makes the relationship too much to worth it. My wife now is same height as me and we're happy about that, height difference of several inches seems weird/difficult to imagine now.

Regularly throughout my life. I'm also 5'7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I'm older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they're partners are so terrible.

So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You'll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.

Reading the thread. Most of you guys are not THAT short lol. I actually married my guy who is 5'1". He has a nice smile, funny and smart.

He has told me unfortunately that he has often been declined often by women due to his height. We have asked our mutual friends who said they won't date someone who is that short which is unfortunate because they all love him too.

He's pretty confident, professional, so people from work finally meet him in person, they are surprised he is not taller.

ive never Been rejected, (i dont ASK people out)

I am 5'4" and though no one has ever outright told me they rejected me because of it directly, it almost certainly is a leading reason I have fewer interested parties. It seems like most women specifically mention height in their requirements. It's too bad, I'd date a tall woman. Karlach is my favorite.

Being short helped me grow a personality and learn to be charismatic to overcome my height, and I've done okay, but it'd be foolish to say it's not a huge hurdle in dating.

Rowing club coach at a university I was interested in told me I was too short to bother trying out but if I dropped all muscle to squeak under 120 lbs I could try for coxswain.

Jokes on them, rowing generally requires waking up before the ass crack of dawn which was not conducive to my preferred college experience. I found rugby, which has way broader allowance for body type and no sunrise torture sessions.

Not to my face. But as someone else said, it's rare for you to be told the rejection reason (for early dating). There are a lot of reasons for this, but part of it is people kind of suck at taking rejection. And on top of that, a significant portion of men are dangerous.

No one wants to risk the man flipping out, spewing cruelty, or worse. A gentler letdown seems safer.

No. I have doubts that it actually happens except in extremely rare instances. I wonder if some women blame a lack of attraction on height because saying other things gets an ever worse reaction?

Only two ladies didn't like my height lying down

HEYOOOOO

too many people based it on porn standards, 6'+ and 7-10inches long.

Long, somewhat related story:

Many moons ago I was at a club and was dying for a smoke, but you had to leave the club and go through two sets of lines and ID checks to get to where I was hanging out on the second floor. Well, they had a giant outdoor balcony, but the area was walled off by a line of plastic chairs. My drunk, fiendin, ass said, "fuck it", shuffled a chair out of the way, and snuck off to the corner to smoke. Well, what was one or two people who noticed me and did the same, soon turned into a packed balcony.

Regardless, my little act of rebellion seemed to get the attention of a "tallish" girl in heels who started chatting me up. About 3/4 through my smoke, the bouncers finally catch wind that there's fifty people on the balcony, and start angrily shuffling people back into the club. At this point, I ask the chick if she wants to dance, and she accepts.

Kudos to her for lasting as long as she did, but thirty seconds into grinding her ass on my stomach, she gave up trying to dance with me and walked away without a word, never to be seen again.

I wouldn't even consider myself short (1.78m, 5'10"), but it was a humbling moment at the time.

I'm 5'8, plenty of men aren't interested in women as tall as they are.

Yes. Rejected to ride on the adult-sized go karts. Has to ride the kiddie bumper cars instead. But this was when I was younger.

No but then women tend to get a pass for being short. I don't have much going for me so I feel the shortness lends me a bit of cuteness. I'm fun-sized!

Everyone is tall compared to me so it's kinda funny that I ended up with a guy who's actually tall to everyone else too (6'1).

Edit: 5'1

About 10% of women will have a very strict type and reject you outright. If you were 2m tall this would maybe shrink to 9%, so it's irrelevant.

90% will think maybe you're a bit short but will overlook your height if you're above average in some other area of personality or looks.

This whole height thing is an artifact of dating apps.

Of course women are going to judge based on one of the 6 data points they have available. It's not that they're shallow by "nature".

Women will almost never confront a man face-to-face with the reason she rejects him because to do so is physically dangerous.

I saw a meme on reddit today that suggested that an obese woman could have all the partners she wanted and that only men suffered from being rejected because of their body and this incel shit is gotten out of hand.

EDIT: here is the meme: https://i.redd.it/yyp4m7axn25f1.jpeg

Yes. I am 1,70 and got rejected for being too small. Well. It happens.

I was once rejected for being too tall. I'm 1.96m (~6'5") and she was ~ 1.65m (~5'5"), said that she didn't like the thought of having to crane her neck to see my face.

Yes, too tall. I'm 6ft without any kind of footwear. 🤷🏿‍♀️

5'5 and no. It's usually my outlandishly goofy and immature sense of humor that scares folks off, based on what I've been told about it. For context, my favorite podcast is bigsofttitty.png, so....fair enough lol

Yes, he said he didn't like feeling like a kid next to me 🤷‍♀️

I was at a cast party with my s/o (she is in theatre) and all the women were chanting that only short kings were at the party (I'm 5'8) - that's the closest I've been to rejection lol.