We have five bedrooms and one bathroom for five people. Well, usually more people because there's always someone's partner here as well. I used to share a bedroom and it's horrible for my anxiety. I need the luxury of privacy.
Droggelbecher
joined 1 year ago
Reminds me of one of mine. In the middle of my lesson, my instrument teacher paused to ask me some questions: can you tie your shoes without looking? Do you have trouble unlocking your door in the dark? Etc. Turns out I have little to no muscle memory lol.
It's a good, important step that you know this about yourself. But yeah, for both of your long term happiness, as well as for your friendship, it'll be very important to talk about the kind of relationship you have. Even if it's super tough and mightn't have the outcome you'd like. But the resentment it would inevitably breed if you couldn't date because you don't know where you stand with your friend wouldn't be healthy for your friendship. Maybe it's easier to not do it all at once?
Either way, your situation sounds tough. Best of luck to the both of you!
Bit of a different take from many of the other comments.
Relationships don't have to be the way they are traditionally. You don't have to be monogamous. You can be in two relationships, one of which is romantic, one of which is a strong friendship with sexual aspects. It'd be under the polyamory umbrella. There's plenty of potential partners out there who are ok with or would even want this kind of a constellation.
The very important caveat though: even more so than in any other kind of close relationship, this requires a LOT of communication. You need to clarify with your best friend what kind of a relationship it is that you have. You don't have to label it, but you have to figure out together what you want from each other and what your boundaries are. The latter includes what kind of relationships you're ok with the other one having with someone else. Then, when you date someone else, you have to have the same conversations and be open about your other relationship(s). I'd be upfront about the latter, the former can happen over time.
If none of this sounds like something you'd want, that's of course perfectly valid. The point stands though that you need to clarify with each other what you want from your relationship and what your boundaries and needs are. This might mean having to change your relationship dynamic.
Some context: my best friend and I are super close and find each other sexually attractive, but aren't romantically interested in each other. We've talked about that and keep checking in. We've done some second base things and cuddled. I now have a partner that's decidedly monogamous. Now, I might still lightly cuddle with my best friend, but we wouldn't kiss anymore. Those are all boundaries that had to be talked through.
I'm not neurotypical at all, you can't tell with a lot of us if you don't talk to us
Omg very similar here! My best friend, who lives oversees now, is coming to visit for 3 weeks. It's been about 2 years since I've seen him. If I didn't know him, I wouldn't think it possible for another human to understand me on such a fundamental and intuitive level as he does. I'm stoked!
Mostly things that fall under the category of women not being able to be a threat/dangerous. Especially white women, which im usually read as.
This includes everything from talking to children in public to actual minor crimes like shoplifting.
ETA: this is in fact a prime example of how sexism is mean to everyone. Women are not dangerous because they're weak, men are dangerous because they're strong. Neither is generally true.
Where I live it is, because of local-ish soy production. Also helps that it's a complete protein, so you don't have to think as much about which amino acids you're getting from where.
Man where were you 8 years ago when I ate zero protein because I didn't know it could be cheap. Couldn't afford animal products and was conditioned to believe those were the only viable source of protein.
Btw I'd like to add textured vegetable protein to the list! It's one of my go-tos nowadays.
I'm not even in tech. I teach maths at night school to support myself while doing my masters. Somehow I've become the 'computer guy' at my job. All the teachers and even office staff ask me to explain software to them that I myself have never even used. I need to learn to say no.
Guy from my undergrad who was missing one hand has always had a profile pic of him posing with a sign that said 'second hand shop'
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To preface, you are not a worse person if you don't like to read. There's so many different ways to learn or grow nowadays, you don't need to force yourself to do it through a medium you don't enjoy.
That said, I'm a person who DOES enjoy reading, but struggles to do it anyway for some reason. If that's you as well, I get you. And I'd say it's worth it.
In general, figuring out WHY you want to read will impact how to best work it into your life. Is it for entertainment, mindfulness, to get a better attention span, to chill out, etc. I do it for calming down mixed with enjoyment, and that impacts how I work it into my day.
What helped me was working it into my routine. I read at night. I don't have a set schedule, I teach night school some nights, and I'm working on a masters thesis.
My fixed point every day: some time when I feel ready (a fixed time would stress me out), I turn off my laptop, text my partner good night, and put my phone away. I get ready for bed. What follows is designated reading time. I read for as long as I enjoy it, am not too tired, and can still focus. If I'm not getting tired, I'll dim the lights at some point. Sometimes, I read one page, sometimes 50. If you force it, it won't be enjoyable.
I also always carry the book and try to read while I'm on the tram or train. Especially for somewhat longer journeys, which I take somewhat regularly, I get a lot of chill reading done like that. But that's pretty specific to my situation as I'm a public transport commuter and have a partner that lives 4 train hours away.