this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Rules:

  • The messages can go as far back as the beginning of the 7 day period (the moment you found out about your assassin is after you)
  • You can only send the messages if you have cell signal (maybe don't hide in the woods, you assassin might be there, and you don't get a do-over πŸ™ƒ)
  • Your phone is immune to damage and malware (although spyware and keyloggers can still be on there, but they can't affect the system, just on "read only" mode). Auto-updates are now disabled by default
  • If assassin got your phone, they could send false messages to trick your past self. (Don't lose your phone!)
  • At the end of 7 days, the Assassin will just drop dead due to time travel limitations, time travelers cannot survive longer than 7 days in the past (yes, the assassin is a time traveler πŸ˜‰)

[P.S: El Psy Congroo]

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

I roll to seduce the assassin. If that fails, I'll barrel roll instead

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

Every hour send a message back to the start of the 7 day period + 1 second for each elapsed hour "still alive at " At the first one hour mark send a message to three minutes after the start of the period. 168 hours in a week, texts with survival status will be done a bit before the three minute mark of constant messages. This message describes the situation. Now I have insight into when the assassin will get me, to an hour. Don't change my behavior until the hour span leading up to the last still alive message, go nuts traveling randomly during that time until the number of still alive text messages changes After surviving for a week send a final message back in time to the very start "your phone is trying to kill you"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Wouldn't this depend on why the assassin is after me?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Dear Past Self -

Do not piss off the nice assassin fellow that lives down the lane.

Sincerely

Future Se-

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

My past self: uuugh, another weird phone scam block

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Maybe for a reason you have yet to experience in the future.

Perhaps a future leader?

Pehaps a future criminal?

Who knows πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But how does that help? If I send past me a message, can past me change anything? What happens to the me that sent the message if past me receives it and changes stuff? Seems like you're creating a classic time travel paradox.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Or every message you send puts yourself in the position you're now

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago

"Oh, a text from future me? Let's see what it says..."

"FM: Ninja assassins are after you. You know what you must do."

shuts off phone nods solemnly "Set myself on fire."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"I found the assassin. She's a 5'10” blonde, 120lbs, with a pixie cut. She's staying at the Royal Stag. You know what to do."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Make the assassin not a risk.

Now that I've gendered her as "her", I'm stuck. Any attempt at humor is going to come off as misogynistic.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I wouldn't warn myself because I don't want to get caught in a groundhog day, butter fly effect scenario.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean, you could just give your self a limit.

Add a "Iteration 1" to the first message, and the 2nd iteration of you should append the message with "Iteration 2" and so on...

If you still get warned of death in Iteration 500, then maybe then you can give up.

At least try to survive for a few timelines.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I would've created 500 alternative timelines by then, and in all of them my peers would have to live through my death. It sounds selfish to put that burden on them for the chance of creating one timeline where we maybe live happy, instead of just accepting my fate and leave only one family behind.

I might tell myself that it's really important to live the next seven days if they were my last.

Playing with time doesnt sound wise to me.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nice try assassin! As if I would reveal my plans.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

NOOOO! My evil plans are foiled! 😭

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

What time travel rules? See: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TemporalMutability

Going with β€œoverwriting the timeline,”

  • buy yourself an hour to live on the first day, should be easy enough

  • make fat cash with options trading in minutes

  • buy hella security

  • repeat until the seven days have passed

I would also rig a β€œdead man’s switch” on my phone in case the assassin ever does get me, to reset things (by telling my past self of my current situation, so they can avoid it).

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

What time travel rules?

Steins;Gate Rules, but without Reading Steiner

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Is this question inspired by the steins;gate anime/VN ?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Um... πŸ˜…"

whispers into phone

"The agents of the (Lemmy) organization have found me, I must prepare to make the ultimate sacrifice. El Psy Congroo"

yeets metal upa out the window

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

It's Metaru Upa lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 19 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

Step one: I clone my phone allowing two phones to contact my past self.

Step two: "Lose" one phone, after turning on find my friend on the lost phone.

Step three: Send past self false information while keeping constant tab on the assassin who believes they have an edge.

Step four: Hit the assassin before they hit me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

First of all, if it's my number sending messages back in time to myself, I could easily convince myself it's me by sending a list of my passwords back in time.

Second, tell myself that I'm screwed no matter what because there's no way I could defeat a professional assassin (assuming it's professional), especially one from the future, and to probably just hang myself or some other form of suicide in order to mock the assassin by not letting them get the kill.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Turns out you were the assassin all along and sending yourself messages to prompt pre-emptive suicide was your method.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You left out the most important part. What's my motive to survive?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Actually, just forget the scenario entirely, and just solve this one please.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I might be reading this wrong but I'm not convinced it helps. My read of this is basically we get 1 free go at surviving and can send messages back to the start point for the second go to try and survive.

You could keep a running commentary of what you're doing and where you're going which would give you a little bit of notice of where and when you die but unless you can time loop and continually adjust the plan until you find something that works I don't see how knowing 1 point of failure is enough to keep you alive.

Maybe someone smarter than me has a better idea though, or I've got the prompt wrong.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

No, you get to send unlimited number of messages, but the furthest back is at the beginning of this 7 days. You could send it to day 2, day 3, or even exactly at 12:34 on day 4.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

OK, but what happens to current me if it sends a message that leads past me on a course that will not lead to it's current state?

Does it create multiple time lines? Might that lead to a near infinite amount of messages received at the beginning of the period?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

But then that's me sending a message to past me and the messages can only go as far back as today, so that's like me writing a message right now and then reading it right now.

So I need to be able to meet with the assassin and somehow send a message with location and date so that past me can avoid it. Repeat until the 7 days end.

I guess I'm also not smart enough. Sigh.. Past self, I tried, but I don't understand the rules, so we're dead now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Id get the the hashes of the next few hundred blocks of Bitcoin and send back in time, my past self could use that to pre-mine tons of Bitcoin, with each block reward being ~3 BTC and the price arround 90k each, I could sell all that for millions and millions of dollars

with all that money I'd just hire another assassin or something to kill the first guy. or just invest in a ton of security, body guards and stuff

edit: actually on second thought I could use almost any financial mechanism to get tons of cash, this is just the first one that came to me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lotto is picked every wed/sat for Powerball. Bam tons of cash, hire bodyguards or buy stupid expensive panic room.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

yeah thats basically my idea but wayyy simpler lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do I have any information at all about the assassin? Sending back the only info I know, "there is an assassin", won't help much, will it?

The problem is that I can't wait for the assassin to make a move in order to learn about them. It'd be a lot easier if I was trying to prevent someone else's death, but I can't send a message after my own death, can I?

I see you're going for a Steins;Gate reference but this is a significantly harder scenario.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The problem is that I can’t wait for the assassin to make a move in order to learn about them. It’d be a lot easier if I was trying to prevent someone else’s death, but I can’t send a message after my own death, can I?

Quickly program your phone to record a video and send a MMS to yourself if it detects you death.

You set up your phone at a vantage point pointed at you, and just go on live tv, make a scene, wait for the assassin to come. Then they come and kill you, and your phone captures their image, and sends it to your past self. Now you got a face to research.

What's that? The assassin wore a mask? NOOOOO! πŸ™ƒβž°οΈπŸ’€

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

But I don't even know when and where the assassin is coming, do I?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Assuming you can change the future, you can send a message with your location history every x minutes to your 1-day (or more) ago self. You will have to encode it (and I guess this should be done outside the phone) in a way that the assassin can't spoof a message. You'll have to figure out that encoding as soon as you find out about the assassin since that's your message travel limit anyway. When you start receiving messages you follow that location history and then stop following it when you stop receiving them because something went wrong there. Eventually some instance of you might make it 7 days.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Send myself the history of all stock movement within the past week, make sure my past self uses it to become multimillionaire in the first day using leverage trades. An assasin could likely kill me if I'm anywhere public, so I need to get myself arrested without being seen. Fastest way I can think is that call the emergency hotline, tell them I've shot multiple people and come pick me up, in which will dispatch the officers immediately and I can safely stay in jail for a week throughout the confusion.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

If your booked in Florida they will put your mugshot in the paper (and now they know where you are). Sunshine laws make it seem like all crime in that state is comitted by one very dedicated couple (Florida Man/Florida Woman) with access to a cartoonish amount of vehicles, drugs, and oversized agressive reptiles.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

I'm leaving my phone somewhere very far away from my actual location. Check and mate, assassin.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

If someone with access to time travel is hunting me, the last thing I want is a device known to be associated with me speaking to every cell tower I’m near, time breaking qualities or not. I leave my phone at home and spend only cash as I take a random bus tour of the country.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

How did that banana become green?!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I don't. I'll share this technology, preferably with trustworthy competent people. At last, I'll probably figure out how that decision lead to my assassination.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

This is similar to the premise of a great game called Shadow of Destiny. Highly recommend it for adventure games fans.