Programmer Humor

Everything Elon has ever said could be a top post in r/iamverysmart or r/confidentlyincorrect

It's going to be so expensive to fix all the damage this government is doing when America next has sensible government

So many skills lost, so many systems broken

I bet he thinks SQL = MS SQL Server. And nothing else in the front end.

Isn't it a payments database? One client could have multiple payments. You wouldn't expect client IDs to be unique

That's weird, I thought I used SQL databases from government agencies regularly. Guess I was mistaken.

Elon’s shock and fury about the database key sounds like he got a report from an out-of-breath 20 year old DOGE kid who thinks they’re hot shit and discovered some massive flaw.

Elon also seems like the kind of person that believes a database schema is all that’s needed to govern a population.

I'm sure folks on here know this, but you know, there's also that 10K a day that don't so...

What makes this especially funny, to me, is that SSN is the literal text book example (when I was in school anyway) of a "natural" key that you absolutely should never use as a primary key. It is often the representative example of the kinds of data that seems like it'd make a good key but will absolutely fuck you over if you do.

SSN is not unique to a person. ~~They get reused after death, and a person can have more than one in their lifetime (if your id is stolen and you arduously go about getting a new one).~~ Edit: (See responses) It seems I'm misinformed about SSNs, apologies. I have heard from numerous sources that they are not unique to a person, but the specifics of how it happens are unknown to me.

And they're protected information due to all the financials that rely on them, so you don't really want to store them at all (unless you're the SSA, who would have guessed that'd ever come up though!?)

It's so stupid that it would be hilarious if people weren't dying.

I remember seeing this after he bought Twitter

You know, the thing that always seemed really scary about the OG Nazis is that they were competent, intelligent, put-together people that were just fucking evil. Then you look at the US Nazis and the fucking bozo density is off the charts, but they seem to be succeeding anyway.

Three possibilities come to mind:

• These bozos are going to find out, hard and soon.
• The OG Nazis were actually bozos too.
• Competence and intelligence doesn't actually matter in running a fascist regime

As someone who has literally helped the government use SQL for over a decade, this is huge news.

Calling someone a retard for believing something that's obviously true is straight out of the flat-Earther playbook.

Elon is basically what a dumb kid thinks smart people sound like

Elon starting to comment on technical matters was the moment I learned he was actually completely beyond incompetent, since I have some actual expertise on the subject. Right around the time he bought Twitter and commented publicly on its architecture.

This is further evidence to that point

He got community-noted for being wrong. Per usual, it's only a matter of time before he deletes his post.

Sure as hell did when I worked there

Jesus Fucking Christ !!!

What does Elmo think the government use ? MongoDB, because its Web Scale [0]?

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2F-DItXtZs

Lmao we’re gonna get to watch eel-on-musk and all of his dipshit wünderkinds speedrun through all of the pitfalls a junior DBA / data engineer is liable to make, and they’re gonna do it on prod, and prod is the US government.

What could possibly go wrong

Isn’t Oracle a big government supplier with millions if not billions worth of contracts?

Elon is a fraud but for someone who claims he created one of the Web’s first e-commerce sites this level of ignorance is embarrassing

Everything uses SQL. The world fucking runs on SQL

(yes I know SQL isn't something that you can "run" something on yadda yadda...)

“Your tax dollars are being stolen”

Rare moment of clarity from our global barony.

A government official known for performing a nazi salute just broadcast an ableist slur.

Cool cool cool

Maury determined that this was a lie.

Someone needs to explain to Musk how to debug with the JSON so that the ipv6 GUI does not overflow into the git API front-end

Whenever Elon speaks of programming, he just spouts the most delusional Point-Haired Boss bullshit imaginable. Truly, he has been promoted to the level of his incompetence.

(It is also highly ironic considering the Dilbert creator's politics.)

It's hard to figure out what he's talking about , when he says the "whole social security database". Like in which tables are they duplicated? Does it mean the entire row is duplicated or just the SSN, it might make sense to be duplicated depending on the schema. Is it an append only db, so there might be updated columns on the same ssn and you need to filter by the latest update timestamp? Who knows.

But also, saying that there's a "social security database" and then following that up by the govt "doesn't use SQL" so.. the db is actually just a spreadsheet? A .txt file? The SSNs are just written down in someone's notebook? Lol

The more this dipshit talks about programming the more I'm convinced that he's got absolutely no clue how any of it works. Like, he's famous for creating PayPal, I'm really wondering if he paid someone to code that shit and just took credit (and all the money from its sale).

If SSN based fraud is the program then let's establish an actual federal identification number. Even the Social Services bureau tried to get everyone to not use it as the end all source of truth. They only created it for social security benefits, literally only that purpose.