this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
226 points (96.3% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Egyptian room is certainly a choice, but the rest I'm not mad about? The exposed walls look legit and give the house some character, and the spaces that are renovated are tasteful.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My only complaint with the rest is the weird kitchen that's both gigantic and way too small.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

It is a bit weird, I think the 3.5m walls and the cabinets not reaching the ceiling are messing with my brain.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

That was my thought, those rooms in the middle pictures looked better than the earlier ones

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It's the royal throne.

Bad real estate? More like amazing real estate. I love it lmao. Well, except for the pricetag.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

But that's in Canadian dollars, so it's like 20% cheaper in USD.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Valley of the Rings

Toot-and-come-in

Nifertiti

The Bummy

Shatophagus

Cleofartra

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The irony of my laughing at this while taking a shit is not lost on me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Shits 'n giggles

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

yeah, I think so. A black toilet.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's a toilet and a shower.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

All toilets are if you get creative.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago

Me: Well, this looks perfectly normal, I don't really see why they....Oh.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That’s an incredible house. I wouldn’t have the heart to tear out the sarcophagus toilet, even if the place didn’t probably cost more money than I’ll ever have in my lifetime.

Strong vibes that a retired couple currently live there and a property developer will partition it into ten apartments.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

The sarcophagus toilet.

Worth the visit!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Craziest part- then it opens and you see what's inside.

Jokes aside, I could live here

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I liked the watermelon room

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Honestly, I just want to go through all these sites and red-pen the basic English errors. We're supposed to be better than this.

Also, the house is BONKERS-gorgeous. I can dig the quasi-finished basement and the uncovered window near the bath - that'd be fixed soon! - but the painted-wood floors really take me back to my youth (although they were painted for us because we had no money to put proper flooring down). I love the exposed hot-water heating, as our unfinished basement had that along the roof near the support structure, too. For me, this is all retro-based joy.

But that room; what do you do? Paint would desecrate it, but leaving its eyesore self is also sacrilege. One can only either sell the entire house on as this owner has done, or perhaps find a way to remove the roof and wall panels and rebuild them in some rich wank's monkey-house somewhere else. Rich bastard's not taking the floors but he can have the custom finishes too.

All this for c$8k/mo . That's double my rent, and we're really proud of our new apartment, in a big building with AC standard, atop a huge secure garage and in the middle of a relaxing 15-min mini-city design just steps from the metro. I can't be lured away for double, brick walls and painted mohogany be damned.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

I think the solution is to board up the room and leave it for future generations to rediscover and be horrified and mystified on turns

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Woah you may have spoiled it but you left the toilet for us to find.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Don't you want the ability to see when your neighbour across the street gets home while you take a bath? The real crime is placing the toilet with it's back to the window, so now you can't take a shit while looking people in the eye who walks past your house.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

every room looks like it belongs to a different house

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

This is like the house of my dreams. Not my daydreams, my actual sleeping dreams, where each room is super weird and I can never find my way back to the one room I need to be in.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Considering that it looks to be a very old house, that room may have been decorated in the 1920s, when Ancient Egypt was all the rage. I don't see a problem here.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

According to the write-up the house was built in 1859 but the Egyptian suite was painted by Mike Lewis, who appears to be an artist based in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. Looking him up I found this story from CBC when it was on the market in 2020 and it seems it was commissioned by the then-owner, a historian and filmmaker.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

3,500 sq ft, 0.05 acres?!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

A super white space with a fireplace in every room, then suddenly you're in a bedroom without walls (I guess they ran out of money?), then a horrible marble bathroom, then suddenly it looks like a completely different house with terracotta tiles and feature brickwork everywhere, then a toilet with like... limestone walls? A kitchenette bigger than my actual kitchen in a sitting room where none of the 6+ chairs face the TV. I dig the spoiler room though, that last fuckin toilet got me. I couldn't imagine living in a place like that.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I think it's brick in some areas because that's the converted basement area. The other parts probably already had walls like that and they just painted them.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's a very strange house. Most of it is beautiful but not very stylistically consistent, and then boom, sarcophagus toilet.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lots of effort to make it immaculate but the 3 different types of wood in the downstairs clash horribly, eurgh..

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I think the wood would be fine if the kitchen cabinets weren't so out of place. The cabinets are atrocious, especially with the kitchen floor. Also, painting the radiators gold might be considered a hate crime, but at least that's a relatively easy fix.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I kill my dad to have this house. Even the Egyptian stuff I'd fuck with.

Definitely not on a half acre lot though

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

...i think we explored this place in our call of cthulhu campaign; poor henry was reduced to black ooze...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought the awful inlaw sweet was the surprise at first, then I knew I was wrong.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I have a couple questions:

  1. Have you ever sacrificed any humans on that altar?
  2. How many humans have been sacrificed on they altar?
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

That's rad as all get out, not terrible at all

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Taste is developed, not bought

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

My next snapped at the sudden shift in decor. It's not like any of those are bad in a vacuum, but it's a pretty bold choice to go from normal midcentury modern to rustic to creepy basement corridor back to modern again and then the egyptian tomb.

I actually really like those bathroom fixtures that look like dragons and serpents. Guilty pleasures.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

They should inform the number of ghosts by sqr meter

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

When did Mumm-Ra move to Canada????