Today

I feel for you.. When you're at one you feel guilty for not being at the other and you constantly feel like you're failing at both. Everyone told me to make time for myself and i didn't even know what that meant. Try not to let the frustration and guilt get to you. Sleep when you can.

Mine eventually (after years) faded into the background and now it only really bothers me if I'm in a quiet place.

He grew up in a military family. You did what you were told and didn't question.

Oh yeah, he's a door holder, grocery carrier.

Bit of both I'm sure.

Ask for help. I have a sketchy knee that gives out sometimes and i need to have one hand on the stair rail just in case. If I'm carrying something that requires two hands at work, I have no problem asking someone to grab the other side of it on the stairs. My husband would not ask for help unless it was something really heavy. He would put himself at risk to avoid admitting he needed help - it'll be fine. Well sure, it's always fine, until it's not.

I'm in Dallas Texas. No state income tax, but property tax is about 2% of home value, so even if it's paid off your looking at ~$500/mo on a $300k house, which is about the minimum in the city here right now. If you're over a certain age that's reduced a bit. If you had decent insulation here on a smaller house and you're cautious with your AC use, you could probably get away with electricity of $100/mo most of the year and $200 in the summer. I think my water/sewer/trash is about $60 a month and my gas is about $60 a month. Our home and auto insurance is high in Texas. I'm cheap, so we use 5g internet for $30/mo. Gas is $2.70/gal here today. I threw a few things in an online grocery cart and screenshotted so you can see our food prices.

We have shifted from using MR (mentally retarded) to using ID (intellectual disability). Even before that change, we tended to say MR instead of retarded, i guess because of the way it gets thrown around negatively and feels uncomfortable to say. Similarly, people are using autistic negatively to describe someone who's quirky or introverted, narrowing what's seen as 'normal'. If you have to ask if it's ok to say something, other people will probably have a gut reaction to you if you say it. Whether that matters is up to you.

What type of heating fuel do you guys use? Where i am its usually natural gas from lines or propane in tanks.

We could hang out together. Then i might not be the loud one for once.

What part of the world? I need to have a gas line run outside.

How can i upvote this more than once?