this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy โ€œdadโ€ jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If every human held hands around the equator, it would make a very long line.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

If 8 billion people hold hands and every person would take up 1.3m, the line would go around the equator 250 times. About 6 billion would drown.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Only if all the billionaires and 1% top polluters are the ones who die

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

True. Still: how much would the sea level rise?

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Less than the icecaps melting.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

No, a line is when there are people waiting in front of you, not when they're beside you holding your hand.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Not if the chain were pulled taut enough.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

But if you're a link in a ring chain, isn't pulling just tightening it ?

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Well, now both seem right. Can we get a physicist consultation? If you pull a rope bridge from both sides, it raises it. But if low enough, that puts you in the water...?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

There is a length at which the weight of the rope itself exceeds the force exerted to tighten the rope and not break it. So basically you can have a tight shirter rope, longer saggy rope, or you have 2 ropes.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

In that case people would be dismembered, and then drown.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Would they though? Surely the people on land could hold the weight.

Maybe not across the Pacific, Atlantic maybe. Just fashion a human suspension bridge.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

โ€œIโ€™d like to teach the world to swim,
Oh shit, was that a shark?โ€

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Coke commercial was the first thing that came to mind even after all these years. I never knew as a kid I was watching a mass murder/suicide.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

What? Did I miss something?

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

teach the world to swim

Just look at this picture, all the water around the world. It is swimming already, isn't it?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

True, Captain Obvious