this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy β€œdad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This reminds me of a similar factoid.

Did you know that if you took the entire Pacific salmon catch and laid it out nose to tail across the Sahara desert…

…the stench would be overpowering!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Did you know that if you took every elephant on earth and stacked them up to the moon, they would all pretty much die?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Did you know that a blue whales carotid artery is so large that a small child could swim through them, but neither the whale nor the child would enjoy that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I genuinely did not know that! 😡

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

Did you know that if you took a blue whale and laid it lengthwise across a basketball court, the game would be canceled?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

Fun fact. If you took every dodgy, corrupt politician and lined them up end-to-end in space... you should probably just leave them there.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

If every human held hands around the equator, it would make a very long line.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

If 8 billion people hold hands and every person would take up 1.3m, the line would go around the equator 250 times. About 6 billion would drown.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Only if all the billionaires and 1% top polluters are the ones who die

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

True. Still: how much would the sea level rise?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

Less than the icecaps melting.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

No, a line is when there are people waiting in front of you, not when they're beside you holding your hand.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Not if the chain were pulled taut enough.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

But if you're a link in a ring chain, isn't pulling just tightening it ?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Well, now both seem right. Can we get a physicist consultation? If you pull a rope bridge from both sides, it raises it. But if low enough, that puts you in the water...?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

There is a length at which the weight of the rope itself exceeds the force exerted to tighten the rope and not break it. So basically you can have a tight shirter rope, longer saggy rope, or you have 2 ropes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

In that case people would be dismembered, and then drown.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Would they though? Surely the people on land could hold the weight.

Maybe not across the Pacific, Atlantic maybe. Just fashion a human suspension bridge.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

β€œI’d like to teach the world to swim,
Oh shit, was that a shark?”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The Coke commercial was the first thing that came to mind even after all these years. I never knew as a kid I was watching a mass murder/suicide.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

What? Did I miss something?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

teach the world to swim

Just look at this picture, all the water around the world. It is swimming already, isn't it?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

True, Captain Obvious