this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
-31 points (32.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26250 readers
1775 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
all 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They might be at 'evangelically' child free folks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Yeah well those people suck

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago

I've gotten it in two flavors.

One is people who are so convinced that life has no meaning without children they feel like they are saving you by pressuring you to have kids.

The other, and far more angry, seem to have had kids because they thought they had too, or had a "happy accident", and aren't actually happy about. They see you as the life they could have had.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not really sure your premise holds. I mean, sure a bunch of tradwives and their husbands might get upset when a woman declines to have kids, but in general I don’t think most people care. I’ve got kids but most of my friends don’t and I can’t imagine anyone caring one way or another.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Your friends don't have kids??? Absurd! NOW who shall fetch the beers from the fridge??? Am I supposed to just WALK to the fridge everytime I want a beer at your friends house??? Hmmph!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Ask the dog duh

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

What are you even talking about?

I'm guessing this came from an interaction you had with a specific person. You should probably ask them, because I don't think most people feel the way they do.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I'm 58, child free and have many such interaction multiple times.

Perhaps the other way around you don't but other people with kids sometimes do.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have the opposite question: Why are childfree people so triggered by children?

Context: I don't care if you do or don't have children, in general. I care how you and yours are behaved. Have kids and they're well behaved? Fine. Have kids and they're crazy? Not fine. Don't have kids and you're nice? Fine. Don't have kids and you're a shit head about them? Not fine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

They're stressing so much about the kids they don't have it's as bad as if they had kids for real

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

You're really describing a small but very vocal portion of people with kids. I don't think most parents are that concerned about it.

The people who you're describing only had kids because they grew up being taught that that's what they were supposed to do wether they actually wanted kids or not. This very specific group get upset that child free people are somehow going against the plan by not bending over backwards to accommodate everyone who did have kids.

They're also constantly angered further when they see child free adults having a fun relaxing time while they're stuck wrangling their own ill mannered progeny.

They certainly are very petty, angry, frustrated people but they definitely don't represent everyone who has kids lol

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

I don't think they are, it's the Child Free folks triggered by kids.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Interesting. When I read this I read it as the subreddit childfree which has a pretty anti children vibe and I instinctively assumed you meant people that dont like kids and/or dont think having children should be advertised and supported as much as it is.

As a DINKWAL I can understand all sides here. People should do what they like but getting asked „no kids? Why? Wont you reconsider?“ makes me want to punch someone.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I've seen the acronym DINKWAD before, but never DINKWAL. I know DINKWAD is dual income, no kids with a dog, so now I can only assume you own a Llama.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

That comment made me laugh out loud! Thank you very much! I would in fact love to own a llama!

But you were on the right track. I made the acronym up. In my case it means double income no kids with a lizard.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay, my sister in law is a big fan of lizards and sneks, so now I'm embarrassed that's not where I went to first 😅 However I wish you the best of luck with your Llama owning aspirations in the future!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Thanks a lot! Greetings to your sister from by four bearded dragons. :) will update if I manage to own a llama at any point.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why not a leopard? Some people like cats.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I'm allergic, so wasn't the first thing to come to mind. However yes, would also be a valid alternative.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

envy is fuckin difficult for many brotha lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well TIL what DINK means. As another DINK household (unless you count the dogs), I have literally never been judged or had a confrontation about this.

Sure, almost all of my friends have kids now, so the nature of our relationships have changed. But I don’t think it’s necessarily in a bad way.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The dog counts. You're a DINKWAD instead.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Guess that makes me a SINKWAC.

Sounds like some kind of military outfit actually

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

A lesser known unit of DEVGRU

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Really only bothers me if I ask hey are kids welcome at this event and the reply is "Fuck no!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

TBF, that was a dumb question to ask about a drunk cage-fighting free-for-all.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

It’s usually the opposite from what I’ve seen

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Always is a real stretch, but I get your point. The reason is that being angry is easier than being happy.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago (3 children)

As a DINK household, I'm happy not having kids

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cool. As a parent, I'm happy for you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Booooooring. You're supposed to get frothing mad at each other so your hate-filled comments can be screenshotted and shared over and over to be mocked.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had kids so that others don’t have to.

I like my kids, but I don’t like most other people’s kids. So yay, DINKs!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So that others don't have to? Can you elaborate on that?

Like, I don't subscribe to any replacement theory, not to keep social security/economy afloat, not to keep any particular race dominant over others, not so humans maintain mastery of earth and nature, nothing. I am not sure why my not having children would drive someone else to have kids. They could just... only have the kids they want and not weigh my lack-of-kids into their equation.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

strictly speaking facts a society needs to reproduce somewhere close to replacement level or above in order to have some semblance of stability, what OP likely means is that they had kids A) because they wanted them and B) because they don't think most people make good parents. By having kids they contributed to the birth rate and therefore (hopefully) removed some unfit person's decision to become a parent because the birth rates are horrendous. Also having kids when you can likely manage to actually raise them properly results in a lower ratio of spoiled brats in the population down the line, idiocracy sadly was very on point with the movies observation about reproduction behaviour among different education levels.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You got some big militant vegan vibes going on yo.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Gay, not vegan, I live in SoCal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Gay, not vegan

I thought it was a given that all gay folks eat meat hehue :>

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I don't know DINK. Unless you mean Doink's midget sidekick.....

Wait, is your family the cast of the 1994 Survivor Series? Doink, Dink, Pink, and Wink?