Ask Lemmy

The only movie that legit made me cry was Seven Pounds with Will Smith. I only saw it once, and I tried real goddamn hard to suppress the tears, but a few leaked out. Luckily, none of the people I watched it with noticed, so my masculinity remained in-tact.

I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters,

Fuck yeah it is. It's a beautiful thing to be so moved by something that it brings you to tears (especially art). It's what makes us human: we're not just mindless beasts trying to eat and fuck, we're experiencing life to its fullest.

The older I get, the more I don't give a fuck and just let go. Interstellar - when Cooper is watching messages from his son... Gets me every damn time.

Growing up, I'd occasionally tear up over a sad movie.

Now that I'm older, I seek out movies that tend to be depressing and tragic. Watching them alone let's me express a level of empathy or grief that is almost therapeutic. Most mainstream movies that are deemed sad may still only get me to slightly tear up like the past. But I've encountered enough indy or slightly lesser know films that fly under the radar and they make me ugly cry.

Being in a vulnerable mindset kind of helps because there are moments where I could probably fight it mentally and hold back my reaction. But if I allow myself to let go, then it's full on sobbing.

Recent movies that had that effect on me are Drawing Closer, and How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.

It's not always empathy, somethings its a personal element where I relate to someone on screen and I use them as a conduit to express the emotions I might normally suppress or stoicly ignore.

Very rarely.

works of fiction never made me cry in my previous gender, but ever since i started estrogen it's been neat going back and rewatching my faves and seeing how much harder they hit emotionally now

Yeah.

Occasionally I'll come across scenes in an anime that are so out of place but hurt.

Hey fellow 41 year old dude, I also cry at this stuff. It seems especially pronounced when rewatching nostalgic productions with well written characters and conflict (I will not apologize for crying all the time during Avatar the last Airbender, as an adult man). No, I do not know what this means in regard to healthy emotional processing, it just is what it is. Mind you I also get unjustifiably angry or emotional in other contexts when I feel connected to the fate of a character and they experience injustice. So this might be a general marker for some level of empathy or maybe just emotional mimicry. Thanks for posting, I think this is something people should be okay talking about more.

Edit: I wanted to add this also occurs in other mediums, like video games. Cyberpunk 2077 was like a revolution in awareness for me, but largely because I experience DID to a degree in my life, and it really flipped the table of my understanding of myself seeing what I experience through the eyes of others.

And books.

If the story and characters are well written and/or acted well enough to pull you in to the story you can certainly feel empathy and other feelings vicariously.

There is plenty of entertainment that does not pull the viewer/reader in, and you don’t particularly get “involved” with them.

I’d be curious what the line is for most people, what draws them in to a story emotionally to make that investment in a fictional character.

My memory sucks so can't remember much, but:

The Hunger Games (1) when

I actually remember when, as a kid, I rarely cried about fictional stories, or something even bad events IRL.

But once I go through the existential crisis at 18, I started to actually feel stories, like actually feeling it. I ser deaths, injustice, and tyranny. The "veil of innocence", as I call it, completely shattered. The world isn't beautiful, its hell, its horror.

Its actually when you get older, you understand the stories being told.

Me, and yes it’s normal to have an emotional reaction to media. You want a good cry? Watch Violet Evergarden. That shit’ll wreck you.

The film Click always makes me cry. You know, the comedy where Adam Sandler has a magic tv remote? I'm not gonna go into too much detail on which scene; spoiler tags don't seem to work on my Lemmy reader, so I won't know if I'm doing it right. I'm just going to say it's the scene where he has an important message to deliver to his son. Gets me every time.

I do. Not very often, but not super rare either.

It can help when I'm miserable, as a form of emotional release.

Mainly on anime for me, I guess, largely because that's what I watch most. I don't think I've felt that emotional on other film media.

The most recent anime that touched me was Ave Mujica: The Die Is Cast.

I cried like a baby watching Titanic and Interstellar. I also cried at the end of WALL*E

This is something that gets easier after your first cry, I watched dramas before and all, but only after playing Narcissus I cried for fictional characters; after that it happens more easily.

Hell, now I get teary eyes just by watching the new Anne Shirley anime opening seeing her grow up, I don't even have a kid.

I'm a dude in his 40s. If anything, I've gotten more empathetic and easily moved over the years. I have cried at movies and over books.

Am 41 y/o dude not that it matters

It does matter because a 41 y/o dude is also allowed to have and express emotions.

Yeah buddy, it's normal to feel your feelings.

I cry watching space rockets launching.

Big Fish in particular got me because my dad is similar to the protagonist's.

Me for sure. Every so often, I'll pull something up just for the sake of some tears.

My go-tos include (in no particular order):

• Avengers: Endgame
• The Fellowship of the Ring
• Patch Adams
• The Deathly Hallows (Part 2)
• Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
• Avatar: The Last Airbender
• The Owl House
• House MD (Season 4 finale)

Probably some more I'm not thinking of, at the moment.

TV shows and movies are art. Eliciting an emotional response is kind of art's thing. Maybe not all art, but that's neither here nor there.

The one scene in Lion King hits harder without James Earl Jones on this planet anymore.

Yes, but very rarely. Most stories just don't affect me that way.

My first time crying at a movie was a little while after I started HRT. It was Into The Spider-Verse. Dad Morales tells his son "I love you, but you don't have to say it back."

That movie is a trans allegory fr

I mean this really speaks to the power of the human mind. We can put ourselves into someone else's shoes and experience what they're feeling. No other animal can do that that we can 100% prove. Enjoy that you have the ability to care for someone from finding out their story. It's a good and proper skill to have.

I often tear up from scenes from movies and tv. Yet basically never do for anything in real life.

I was listening to an NPR story the other day about how a ton of people showed up to donate blood to save an infant, and only one was a match, but it was anonymous, now the kid is a healthy 20yr old and the mom can't thank the person who saved them. It had my eyes all mushy on my commute home.

Yet, I had a cousin, and an uncle pass within the last few months and while I was sad, and I miss them, not a tear generated.

Yeah, I get teary eyed when watching movies all the time. I watched the new Lil and stitch the other week and even though the story isn't super deep, it made me cry a little in the end.

I cried when Jude Law has had enough of the dystopian society he's forced to live in and checks out forever.

Gattaca: one hell of an unknown movie.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gattaca

I get teary eyed, but I rarely cry. "The penguin of my life" was my last big challenge, so mean. Great movie though.

And yes, at some point you really want Red to have his little piece of heaven.

I think I am more open for this since I'm older (40s), when I was young I would've never let myself be that open.

I do. I actually love to cry. I have a playlist on YouTube called Cry, just because I need to feel that sometimes.

I also seem to have some sort of audio-tactile synesthesia, because there are a few exact moments in some music pieces to make my head tingle and my eyes drain like waterfalls. Not even always sad parts and I don’t feel bad. Eyes just start running like the cops are chasing them.

Yeah. I think it's because there is some big stuff missing in my life and it feels weird to see certain things I want

I do. 25M. For movies, lyrics, stories... Can be most casual things for most people. But I detected some special meaning and I have tears in my eyes. I for some reason got more and more emotional since I was 18. Not sure why though. I hope anyone has some kind of ideas.

I find this strange since I do not consider myself very empatic. And I also consider word empathy cringe since it is often misused to demonize political opponents.