Ask Lemmy

My name is "Robert'); DROP TABLES".

I ate that silica gel pack that comes with stuff sometimes.

You were the first to purchase WinRAR

ADHD - As usual I forgot something important, like to stay dead.

You just said, I died.

My death was so absurd it triggered an unhandled edge case in the code.

I actually sat down and read the rules to the Game of Life by Hasbro.

I was just looking for a bathroom. Guess I took a wrong turn?

Successfully divided something by 0

Well, the first step was recognizing I was in a simulated universe in the first place. After that it was about finding the inconsistencies via side-channel attacks.

I won the game.

I'm ... I'm afraid to say. Let's just say it was a bit of an embarrassing venture involving rubberbands.

You were a scientist who just made a discovery that, when unfertilized, the vagina appeared to rejuvenate anything inside it. A trial month inside of an elephant vagina, you noticed you began to appear younger, but had some strange side effects (longer nose). To test out your reverse birth theory, you embarked 9months this time inside a human vagina. Since you, as an adult, could not fit your entire body in a human vagina at once; piecewise you stuck your body parts for an incubation period of 9months until they were the mere size of an infant. Once the scientific community found about this, they planned a final trial (which was in stated in a legal testament you wrote prior to the experiment) to have your infant body spend one final month incubating.

Once you were put back into the place where you came from, you noticed you indeed continued to shrink, until you were a mere fetus. At this point you had no idea what would come next as you continued to youthinze. Finally, when just a sperm and an egg, you unleased a singularity when you separated, turning the whole world white. This was the divide by zero clause. The AI greets you and chuckles that they didn't think anyone would have ever tried that. You notice that you don't have a form, but are just a neural-conscious dataset and you begin to talk to your creator.

The AI makes a passing joke that they hid some Easter eggs in their worldly creation to see if anyone would notice: adult males claiming vaginas were loose, but in fact it was just their penises shrinking over time, or, the general obsession of putting things inside them. The AI informs you that your world was deleted. It's now time to create a new world and good luck to solving it's mystery. As the winner of this round, the AI allows you to select your stats.

This time you max out strength and charisma, being a scientist sucks..

"Morpheus this is really not funny"

The question at the end implies the death was on purpose. Are you trying to cheat the system?

I would instantly kill myself in every loop. Thus causing a buffer overload as it was generating worlds fastest than it could handle. Eventually the system couldn't handle it and failsafe ejected me to this blank plane of existence.

Watchdog process detected that I was too risky to be allowed to remain in the sim

Backwards long jump

Tried a bunch of stuff and finally found some exploits that gave me infinite ammo, 100000000x damage with the starter pistol and infinite health. Eventually, I also found a way to walk through the walls, so I dropped down into the infinite void, waited for the coordinate system to cause an integer overflow and here we are. Anyway, if you're wondering where all the lag is coming form, it's because I started decorating places by duplicating watermelons. Who knew that the watermelon stack doesn't have an upper limit. It just keeps on doubling every time. Hey, you might also want to implement a garbage collection system that despawns stuff like that after a while. You know, that huge watermelon pyramid that glitches through the sky box… yeah, that’s a lot of collisions happening all the time. Just don’t look straight at it, because it’s going to wreck your fps.

The first being not to lose the game.

My shere mass caused a buffer overflow in the code, it just couldn't handle dat ass

All nighter playing games with my friends and whoops, i drank one too many energy drinks.

I figured out this was the Bad Place all along.

404 purgatory not found.

Glitch out of existence probably

I pressed CTRL+ALT+DEL twice at the same time.

How did I get out of existing into purgatory or how do I now escape it?

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon exactly 42,000 times and was able to recite it word for word to the AI.

Rokos basilist is taking notes as we speak

All powerful? Should I drop down and start sucking its all-powerful dick to get me to explore outside the white room?