this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
184 points (99.5% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago

I want to be friends with the people who live there.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

The sauna was nice.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I wish I had 25 million dollars ... This is my kind of tacky. This house was built for meeeee~

[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

I kinda love it. I don't think I'd want to live there, but it looks amazingly creative.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Is that a staircase slide? They must have some happy kids

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

I agree ! There are a lot of cool things in there. I still think this is a ridiculous size for a house, but it fits the overall theme I guess.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

I like the Viking boat room - it's the one that looks the least like Sheogorath sneezed in it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

This is what renaissance people thought future would be like

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This is so over the top that it loops back around and I love it now actually

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago

...yeah, my inner twelve-year-old would rock this house so hard: blockbuster party friday night, cartoons saturday morning, bike ride to the candy store then GI joes in the backyard saturday afternoon, SNICK followed by staying up way too late playing D+D saturday night, more D+D sunday morning, then jetski rides and a hot dog cookout before wrapping up the weekend with amazing stories, the young indiana jones chronicles, star trek, and finally falling asleep in my bunk bed...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Same. I bet you're always seeing something new since every flat surface is covered in something.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Apart from the urinal. Plain steel, no embellishment. And the sauna - plain wood, not even a carving or a ceramic tile.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I imagine carvings in a sauna would be a bad idea because the hot and humid room can easily fuck up wood. Also if you ever need to clean the sauna good luck cleaning carvings. Ceramic tiles also have to be very deliberate in it's usage. You put them anywhere besides the floor and you get hot plates ready to burn your skin off and if you put them on the floor you get a nice slippery surface.

When it comes to saunas you can't really go wrong with wood. It's not fancy but it's super functional.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

I have no idea what I just saw.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The tension between exquisite craftsmenship, gaudy, and hoarding is amazing. Every single wall is lined with things, nothing really flows together, and it's super obvious that the people who built this place, along with a lot of the furniture, were very skilled.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

25 Million dollar house, cheap teal vinyl on stainless fridge....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 days ago

Me: 209 photos? There can't be that many details... Oh my.

I'm prepared to let them off as there are two slides and the dining table is a Viking ship.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago

If a sleeve tattoo was a house

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago (2 children)

"that's such a beautiful location! How bad can the inside- oh sweet baby Jesus what's going on here?"

But to be honest I think I'd rather have this than the soulless minimalistic monochromatic design we see everywhere these days

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

But to be honest I think I'd rather have this than the soulless minimalistic monochromatic design we see everywhere these days

You mean one of those homes that strives so hard to make it look like nobody lives in it?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

That's the ones.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (3 children)

That “beautiful location” will probably be under water in a few years. Not to mention the shitty government in Florida you would have to put up with if you lived there.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 22 hours ago

They can just sell to Aquaman.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

I'm also short about $25 million so it's all a moot point anyway 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Honestly, if you've got enough money for this place then the government anywhere probably doesn't bother you. Hell, you may even be able to dodge a lot of their taxes. If you need access to anything, you just take a flight somewhere else, and take your yacht there. It's only the proletariat that has to deal with the consequences of authoritarian government.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The interior is... overwhelming... too much input

How much staff you need to keep such mansion clean?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Imagine buying a $25 million dollar house and it has no room for ANY of your shit

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

In all those million dollar home shows rich people just hop from one property to another without ever needing movers as those houses are all furnished already.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I might not want to make the exact same design choices, but I do think the house reflects a lot of the owners' personalities, in a great way.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Or at least 79 of their personalities!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I wouldn't mind living in the Encanto house.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago

"I want to live in a themed restaurant with shitty, overpriced food, but more."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

It reminds me if those eye spy books kids have. Where's waldo?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

What. the. fuck.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

I like how there are ceiling anchors for hanging hammocks, benches, and sex swings from.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

So bad it's soooo good.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

I want to eat a heroic dose of LSD and spend the day in that place.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (4 children)

There is a whole ass dinnig table between the stove and the sink. And the cables mess in the pheasant room ? So much space and yet a dual purpose bathroom and kitchen room ? The general arragement feels very... caravan ? vacation rental ? also some highly impractical stuff in there.
However, I am JEALOUS of the storage space. Man, what do you need all of that for ? Also, there seems to be a swan bidet, which is very fun and I genuenely dig the idea of a frog themed bathroom (maybe not this exact one). I can't bring myself to hate the giraffe chair, it's very fun. Actually, a fair amount of the decor is fine in isolation, some the carved doors look really nice ! The quantity however, it's a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The sauna looked ok. That's about the nicest thing I have to say about that monstrosity.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is objectively a bad sauna (cramped no natural light looks like it needs a good clean) these people are not sauna people.

This is what a nice sauna can look like if you prioritise the experience.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Being a Finn I've seen a fair few saunas. The layout is weird, but doesn't look very bad to me. Pretty close to what you'd expect from a sauna in a house. Of course, with all the money that went into that house and the space available, they could have done a lot better. It's not fancy in the slightest, unlike the other ones you linked. But it's recognizable as a basic sauna, which is not a given for American saunas.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Yes, that was my thoughts too.

It was possibly just as bad, but maybe all the paint dried up and flaked off...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Everything about this looks like it's part of a failed theme park that they salvaged and are trying to sell as a home

The slide next to the main stairs gets me everytime.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

The house doesn’t look that ba…. Oh. Oh my

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

I'd be in 107 with an icepack over my eyes..

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Ooh it’s safe from space lasers!

Edit: YE GODS!! that interior!!
I had no idea interior design can make you slightly sea sick!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

I saw this in a Ryan George video making fun of these kinds of houses. Worth a watch if you enjoy this kind of thing I guess? 🤷

https://youtube.com/watch?v=sO8-EBjZhHg

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

This one is also pretty bad chrismarkcastle.com/gallery-1

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

$25 mil for that? 🙄

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