This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
Will anyone visiting know the difference?
They should harness the crazy for good. Make conspiracy theory-sounding stories, but make them factual and get people to take positive action.
"They created chemicals you can inject into the bloodstream that keeps them from getting the Measels."
"The overlords in their golden towers want to tell you who you are and aren't allowed to love."
The vaccine one would probably be better as: “independent thinking researchers developed a means of using your own body’s immune response to prevent diseases with a mere injection. Some of them even refused to patent it. But then the media started lying to you about them, trying to get you to stop accepting these miracles? Why, just so some companies could make more money selling you proprietary snake oil to keep you comfortable while you’re sick.”
Coming from a reformed conspiracy theorist, that was frighteningly good.
Thanks! The trick is to understand the emotions they aim for and the baseline rhetorical tricks.
Conspiracies stem from knowing you’re getting fucked, but that most people are good. It’s an attempt to find explanations when the world feels wrong. Someone did it. You just have to sell the truth in the tone that they’re used to hearing. Especially with vaccines where the truth does sound like a free lunch, until you realize that it’s governments and insurers paying for vaccines and it saves them and the economy money by you not getting sick or needing stronger medicines. These are the two groups that desperately want you to exercise, eat right, and quit smoking
Big Essential Oil ruining the day again.
This is brilliant. Please send them an email with this idea.
I'm totally for this and I bet it would work, too. We've seen the level of ignorance that went into how people chose to vote. If OnionWars puts up those kinds of stories, along with the occasional article declaring Jones actually still owns InfoWarts and any news stating otherwise is fake, they could ease these nutjobs back to sanity.
Counterpoint, it was already stupid.
Yes, but this time it will be on purpose.
Fucking awesome. Onion has been hitting it hard lately, and this is just the cherry on top. I am hopeful this makes some chuds question their minds.
Is it The Onion? Or Not the Onion?
Yes
The funniest piece is going to be seeing old followers believe it’s still the InfoWars they know and love. It took forever for people to stop eating the onion in large numbers, and it still manages to happen on occasion.
There is opportunity here. Initially, anyway.
A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.
They don't change Infowars' branding or anything but the articles become subtly liberal.
Maybe an overt purchase is better but I really want to troll the right.
A part of me actually wished that the Onion would have purchased InfoWars, but in secret, like maybe under a subsidiary corp that has a right-wing sounding name.
"Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. "
don't change Infowars' branding
"Founded in 1999 ... InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses.
...
InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.
No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. ... a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars."
I'm absolutely not disagreeing with you; I believe the onion will continue on doing "its thing" and keeping on-brand for both entities. Do exactly what you say and publish articles either believable or outlandish enough to break through to people
"Do your swastikas send the right message to your neighbors? Maybe try this instead..."
I think there's always going to be that group of people. Another example: folks that didn't notice that The Colbert Report was satire.
I thought Glenn Beck was satire. Watched it several times and then one day .. wait, that's not a joke?
Beck sounds batshit. Right there with you.
My favorite part of this:
...Collins said that “part of the reason we did bought InfoWars is because people on Bluesky told us it would be funny to buy InfoWars” adding that “those people were right” this “is the funniest thing that has ever happened”.
That also sounds like the kind of prank that Cards Against Humanity would pull if they had access to as much cash. I love this so much.
ben also replied saying he'd hold it for knowledge fight, so there's an incredible chance we might see knowledge fight use it at some point.
"Tim onion" got an irl lol out of me
For me, the cherry on top is how the "InfoWars" name is still completely apt, for completely different reasons.
Reformatting InfoWars as a serious, unironic branch of the Onion that deals with misinformation would just be great.
Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!
Either way, this may be the best news I've heard all year, thank you!
I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars' library of footage. Maybe they could "keep" Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef's last episode.
Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.
They should send Alex Jones a $1 "royalty" check every month - just so that he doesn't forget it.
Wait, what? Which parts of this are satire now? I read the Onion piece that Global Tetrahedron was purchasing InfoWars, but this is a Guardian story saying The Onion is purchasing it? I'm a bit confused.
It's not satire, they are purchasing it for real.
It's on APNews too - it's real
Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.
This is what I call a master class on starting a soft revolution: you take over a symbol of the opposite ideology, in the most outrageous and ridiculous way, make it known to all, and completely subvert it and deconstruct it, piece by piece, until it stops making any sense to its former self.
im sorry but the owner's name is tim onion. please publish a correction.
Saw the news on their YouTube. Looked it up thinking it was satire and sure as shit it’s not. Probably the fastest I’ve ever purchased merch ever. Gonna love wearing my onion shirt, always loved them but this was the point I needed to send them some money because this is hilarious.
