this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 197 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Doctor of Computer Science

stringly-typed "100%"

yeah that tracks.

[–] [email protected] 127 points 5 months ago (8 children)

Calls a static method on the OldMan class instead of the instance of oldMan that is actually dying.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Tonight's story: Every man older than OldMan.getMinimumAge() has been in perfect *unchanging* health for the last few months‽ To find out why, stay tuned! Our experts chime in to help you understand....

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

If only I'd been born %YEARS% later :'-(

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

But then they really have no idea and try to convince you it’s from some stupid diet trick fed to them by a sponsor.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Haha I'm saving this image

[–] [email protected] 185 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (25 children)

WHY IS THE HEALTH INPUT PARAMETER A GODDAMN STRING?????????????

Why are you passing ‘%’ inside said goddamn string?!?! Not to mention the static reference instead of the actual instance.

Shame on you

[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 months ago

Also putting sudo in front of what looks like Java code not shell.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago (1 children)

OldMan.setHealth("Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--")

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I guess its just a reminder that getting a PhD is often more about dedication than it is about practical knowledge.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

Because the meme wasn't made by someone with a doctorate in CS or even a bachelor's.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Smells like JavaScript.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's not his fault the world is made this way.

He just has to follow it or else that man dies.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

They use a look-up table with every value from 0% to 100%

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Honestly, if someone were to try to safe my life. And I find out he uses a string as a parameter to do so. Just let me die right there.

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 5 months ago (3 children)
sudo rm /heart/arteries/**/clot
[–] [email protected] 90 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Very important to not hit enter before clot.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's why you have backups.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I feel like if your body follows the Unix filesystem structure, you have a real problem.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Can I get one of them immutable bodies?

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Please forgive my ignorance. What does ** do?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Acts as a wildcard for any directories that exist between arteries and clot.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's a glob pattern (edit: tried to find a source that actually showed ** in use).

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Goddamn, the joke gets worse the more I inspect each panel.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The font changes like 3 times 👌

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Can he also fix alzheimer's by hunting down memory leaks.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"Wait! We need to get the user story before we start working on a solution!"

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Did he just give every old man perfect health?!

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

sudo pacman -S new-heart

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

Top-tier endangerment bait lmao

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (3 children)

See that's the issue, he should have tried stopping the cardiac arrest process instead of just resetting the man to the beginning of it

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

HeLlOoOoO, wHaT nOw? It'S a Do Or DiE sItUaTiOn, HuRrY!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

I wish there was a last panel of the old guy getting revived, I think it would be funny

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

bash: sudo: command not found

After all, we don't know that he has it installed, especially if he's running a really old distro.

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