this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 163 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"Hey Dave, why do you have 3 smoke detectors in your bedroom?"

[–] [email protected] 125 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For safety. Hey, check out my flame retardant ball gag!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Are you fucking kidding me with that censorship? Did the Minecraft team write the language filters for this instance?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait, lemmy.ml is censoring bad words? Or is it your client?

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Seems like you might have fallen victim to the Scunthorpe Problem. I'm sure you can guess what word they were trying to censor there....

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Didn't know it had a name.
That once stopped me from registering a video game title.

I was feeling silly so I figured I'd go for a nonsensical contrast. "Evil Grape" got rejected. After several failed attempts it eventually dawned on me that some dumb algorithm thought it was a reference to sexual violence.

It kind of annoyed me but I just picked an other fruit. It wasn't until later that I considered that "Evil Banana" was probably more sexually evocative but it was too late by then.

So if you're ever playing a video game and shoot (or get shot by) "Evil Banana", know that, if it weren't for the Scunthorpe Problem, it could have been "Evil Grape," but either way, it wasn't intended as a sexual reference at all.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Obligatory Tom Scott video featuring similarly problematic city name, Penistone.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

"And because nobody should ever have to go to Scunthorpe" 😂

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

No such censor on lemm.ee (yet)

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

"Uhm, Karl, why are you in my bedroom?"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It was like that when i got here. But a shiny well polished hook glistening in the daylight raises an eyebrow.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are they not for ceiling fans? The two fans I've installed needed them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I just use a fan rated box, securing it as per manufacturers spec, then hook the safety cable to a screw inside.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What do you disguise the actual fire alarm as?

[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 year ago

The sex swing mount of course

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago

Actually good lifehack

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

Just say you use it for shibari, that'll put them at ease.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Its extremely embarrassing when guests continually ask about the ceiling hook.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

You say "extremely embarrassing", but I say "a perfect opportunity" ;3

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

You hung it during your houseplant phase, but you don't have a green thumb and haven't bothered to take the hook down yet

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I have one. Its very uncomfortable for sex.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Yeah I didn’t mean to fuck in it, just that there is a piece of furniture that can explain why you have a ceiling hook.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But you can easily exchange it for the sex swing.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Hidden in plain sight, very cunning.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

People will still ask question if you mounted 2 fire detector at 1m distance?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh, that's a CO2 detector...

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No, that would be carbon monoxide. Mine is a carbon dioxide detector.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The one on the left is a carbon monooxid detector. The one on the right als. But if you combine two carbon monooxide detectors, they’ll become a carbon dioxide detector!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

We are a traditional "one detector per oxide" family!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Modern problems, my friend. Modern problems.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Idk why mine keeps going off all the time

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

or radon detector, depending on where you are and what your regional risks are.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's common here in Malaysia for baby cradle swing or baby bouncer or baby rocker. The hook on the ceiling is attached to the cradle with a spring. Now my mind is dirtied by this meme.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Oops I just realised this is lemmy.ca, this just appears on my feed so I just commented.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What does it matter if its lemmy.ca?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Canadians don't put their babies in swings like that.
They grow them in the mud and snow.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Until they're old enough to man the caboose.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

.ca is the TLD for Canada, so they are obligated to apologize

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

It's not, though. This is lemmy.ml, the OP is from lemmy.ca.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

We always just hung plants from them.

That or a Sky Chair, though ironically they kinda look like sex swings on their own.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

nobody asks about my hooks.. it must be the way i look at them and say, "i wouldn't ask about the hooks"..

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I used to have two smoke detectors one right next to the other. One came with the house, the other was linked to the alarm system.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

hey, thats the same model of smoke detector that I have

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Hang Olympic rings from them!

What's funny is that I actually had a pair in my livingroom that was actually used to hang Olympic rings!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I installed a hook in my living room ceiling but it was genuinely meant to hang my heavy bag for training. Now I'm wondering how many guests think that I do sex hook sex in the living room (where I don't even have curtains.)

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