Ask Lemmy

Don't.

Thats the only advice you need.

Linkedin is the only social media I would reccomend to put yourself out (as in, put your successful projects in) as it's used more as a networking tool to land yourself in better jobs.

Fuck other social media. Anonymity is best.

"The problem I'm having is that I don't exist online when people try to look me up."

That's not a problem, that's a privilege very few people get to enjoy. Fuсk social media and fuсk Facebook in particular.

I know you've probably heard this about a dozen times by now, but..

Don't join Facebook.

They track everything they can about you, down to how long you spend looking at something on your screen. I'm fairly certain they listen to what's going on around you if you put the app on your phone. An ad for something I've mentioned in passing has popped up on my feed shortly later too many times to be a coincidence.

They follow you around on your browser, too. They know what you shop for. It's all specially tailored to sell you their ads.

I keep an account to stay in touch with my family, and it's appalling how much more information they get from you than any other app. Not to mention the heavy prevalence of MAGA hats and I'll-kill-you-before-I-consider-your-opinion conservatives.

Instagram isn't much better, but at least the people there are nicer.

My advice is to cancel joining.

You're on social media right now, but personally, I don't care if there's nothing when people look me up: Seems like a bonus, I barely get spam calls anymore.

Please don't.

I used to have Facebook. Dabbled with Instagram and Twitter. Don't use any of them now. Feel 10x better.

I keep my Linkedin updated, but Linkedin is BS. I hate it. Facebook I only keep for shitposting and because it's the way my husband's family keeps in touch (my husband deleted his FB years ago). Facebook is not great. Would not recommend. Honestly, most social media websites are shit and I could not recommend. Lemmy is kind of social media, and this is okay. I liked reddit too, back when I used it.

My guess is it's because potential matches ask.

As a woman, I don't find it weird, but I do find it unfortunate. It's an easy, quick way to get a better understanding on if you're who you say you are. Sure, it can be faked, but... that's more rare, and mostly easily sussed out.

I like seeing Instagram personally. Not to follow, just as a good check. But if you don't want insta, I'd suggest pixelfed. It's not a part of meta and it functions as an instagram.

LinkedIn is pretty good, for finding work. I've gotten a lot of offers there. Ultimately never took any of them, ironically, but worth the time to set up a good profile.

If you're thinking of joining Facebook... Don't. It's not worth it. Tell people you have something else and give them that info. Like your phone number or your email or your WhatsApp/telegram/whatever.

I hate how I have Facebook and am so dependent on it. I wish I could tell people I don't have it.

If anyone seriously judged me for not being on a particular website I'd have to consider their competency at managing life.

I'd say if you aren't on them and don't need them, there's no reason to dip your toe in.

It's okay to be a little weird and save tons of time and not have to read worthless comments.

I was part of the main ones, but got rid of everything, LinkedIn Facebook, all of it. They are useless or detrimental personally, and I don't need them for my job.

This is the extent of my social media now.

OP understands the risks, and they're asking for tips on how to mitigate them if they have to make an account.

A lot of the comments here either missed or intentionally ignored the post body... Or the downvotes on the comment with a personal account saying how single women can feel safer if they can learn about a new person before meeting them.

People have different circumstances and perspectives :)

My advice for the original post:

• Joining: You don't have to join everything at once, figure out what you might need. This also depends on where you are because different platforms are popular in different places. LinkedIn is one of the few that are helpful in my area.
  • You can also start with Fediverse platforms if you prefer, but if you're trying to connect with specific people that might not help
  • An alternative getting your name published on articles or blogs to fill up the search results
• Usage: Do spring cleaning constantly. It's a big task if you try to clean your feed all at once, and it'll be easier for you to do it from the start. When you don't like something/someone, unfollow or mute. You can do it in a way that the other person won't know, if that's important. A lot of the problems of social media can be avoided if you maintain your feed.
• I'll add more if I can think of them, good luck!

I think it can help to have some presence, even if it is to control what information comes up when someone looks you up.

Don´t, it´s fucking horrible. Yes, this also includes a major part of lemmy. If you really wan´t to, I would advise to only focus on nice little communities that are specialized in one of your personal interests. Generally, the larger a community becomes, the more toxic and stupid it gets in my experience.

if you have no desire to 'participate' on a social media platform, but want people to still be able to 'google' you, perhaps a personal web page on your own domain. with a brief bio, your cv, and perhaps some interesting tidbits from hobbies or work projects.

Weird how no one recommended Mastodon yet.

You can switch your profile to public and follow some nice people and hashtags, if anyone wants to check your vibe. All with you real name. It has become the good version of twitter for me and at least in europe many people are starting to use it.

I have never had a social media account under my real name, apart from Linkedin, which is just there to show me for possible employers.

When I google myself, I only get results about my address and my Linkedin profile, so I do atleast exist.

As for advice about joning something like Facebook....

1. Stay away from politics.
2. Don't just "like" random stuff, be selective and only "like" stuff you really enjoy.
3. Do not engage with dickheads, people will be mean to you, block them and move on, don't engage, you can just leave.
4. Stay away from politics.
5. Never post photos of your kids/family without explicit, preferably written, consent.
6. Be open to take down any photo of a person if said person asks you to.
7. Stay away from politics.
8. Avoid posting content about vacations before and during them, bruglers have been known to use that info to know when a house probably is empty.
9. If you are a woman, please be extra careful posting images of your face online, people have and will continue to take faces of women in particular and photoshop them into porn, it is sad, but is a reality.
10. Be mentally prepared for a lot of hate, whatever you post, you will sooner or later annoy someone online, or even just come to attention of certain people, and they will swnd you hate filled messges, block them and don't engage.
11. Stay away from politics.

Ignorance is bliss.

It's not standard to still expect to find anyone on social media these days. If someone mentioned they couldn't find you and that was important to you maybe you should ask that specific person for advice?

In my experience the expectation these days is for people to be available in some chat apps online (depending where you are: WhatsApp, signal, telegram or iMessage).

About 7 years back I joined everything there was, Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook, Twitter. Then I started using Reddit, honestly the best social media at that time. Amazing repository for information (still is). I can tell you now that all those platforms are all garbage. They're like 70% bot content and 20% reposts by actual people, maybe 10% are actual original posts. It's so hard to find something that is authentic and new on the internet nowadays.

Lemmy, Mastadon, the Fediverse as a whole at this point in time, has some of the best content every. Although small and not vast, the content is top notch. I scroll everyday and very often find some of the most engaging discussions in any of the subs, AskLemmy for example.

Now, if you're going to start using social media, I suggest you use it containerized (vm) or use a new computer with a burner cell number (redpocket is like $30/year on ebay). Just to see garbage for yourself.

Edit: oh yeah, at some point I did use TikTok. You can check it out on proxitok I think. That shit is poison. I personally sifted through and saw the shit for what it really is (spyware that is coated in social media). Dancing girls everywhere, reddit voiceovers, people pointing at things over original content, some of the most cringe content known to mankind.

It would be better to host a site.

If you really need to, I'd recommend social media within the Fediverse.

First, a Mastodon account with your real name, photo and a small bio. Post your thoughts or quotes or whatever; repost memes, art, etc. Leave an option for people to send you messages, with whatever privacy you see fitting. In case you worry about it, Mastodon is a known alternative to Twitter, and Twitter is very toxic nowadays, so people will find it reasonable that you have a Mastodon account instead.

There's also Pixelfed, if you like photos. It is an alternative to Instagram. If you have a hobby, post often about it. I don't know, cooking, skating, painting... Anyway, make it a beautiful gallery of your life and fewer people will question why Pixelfed and not Instagram. You can always excuse yourself saying you don't like so many business accounts on Instagram or whatever excuse, and that you like to give new things a try.

Finally, a WordPress or Plume or WriteFreely blog may be a great opportunity to write and share your ideas. It is kind of retro to have a blog, I guess, but it is a good way for people to get to know you better. You may even find something you're passionate about and create a community. Some people start with two or three pieces of advice about something (like gardening) and end up with a blog full of useful articles and a community that follows them. Blogs usually have an option for private e-mails and a redirection to other social media, so you can have your Mastodon and/or Pixelfed account attached.

Why the Fediverse? You don't sell your soul to corporations, you help it grow, you get a better community.

But give it a second thought, though. Having a social media profile can be exhausting. I personally obsess over it being a good reflection of who I am, respectful in the things I say, with beautiful images, with colors and themes that reflect my personality, with enough of my real self so that people know me but not enough that they cringe or judge me negatively. My objectives (and perfectionism) make it chaotic after a while, and the profile gets more and more inauthentic. That's why I don't have any at the moment. It can also bring some social drama, so, yeah, ponder the pros and cons.

LinkedIn isn't a terrible idea if you just want to come up in search results. It's quite useful for a lot of different professions for networking. You'd likely just make a profile and never look at it again.

Facebook can be almost mandatory depending on where you live. I currently live in a city where Facebook is the only meaningful source of networking, local news and information on events online. It's not uncommon for businesses, even quite larger ones, to have their only media presence online be a Facebook page. The city is also kind of infamously hard to break into socially so you want any advantage you can get.

I don't currently have any social media but it's become a hindrance and I might need to reactivate. I end up using social media by proxy through family and friends anyway.

Quite late for that. The fun time is in the past.

It's better if you filter out and moderate the usage. Just because social media it's bad doesn't mean there's no good part.

LinkedIn, and Instagram. You don't need anything else.

Which branch?

I think Facebook, with its (ostensible) emphasis on real-world connections, is a good place to start.

It was the first social media platform I ever used.

Social media is bad for your mental health. So as you add social media to your life, also add self cate routines like copious exercise, meditation, real-world social contact, etc.

Don’t. Stick to your guns. You will be better off

If you do create a social media profile, just remember two things: you control what you share, and anything you share is out there forever.

If I don’t have anything nice to say I don’t say anything at all.

Why do people feel the need to brag about how they don't use social media?

You’re on social media right now. You know that, right?

Don't do it. I have stopped using Facebook and Instagram since November when they give me the choice to either pay a crazy amount or accept targeted ads.

The amount of time that I suddenly have is crazy. I have already read 7 books and Its been 20 years since I last had read a book!

Not to mention all the negativity and toxicity that I no longer get exposed to.

Its people own fault of they judge you by your being online of social media or not. That said, I don't think you'd be any better if they did value you on what you do online.

Maybe you can create a website with your basic information a few pictures and a short descriptive text. It's kind of a business card style website that will show up when people search your name on Google

Ummm isn't this a post on Lemmy? Aren't you already using social media then?