Don't.
Thats the only advice you need.
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Don't.
Thats the only advice you need.
Linkedin is the only social media I would reccomend to put yourself out (as in, put your successful projects in) as it's used more as a networking tool to land yourself in better jobs.
Fuck other social media. Anonymity is best.
"The problem I'm having is that I don't exist online when people try to look me up."
That's not a problem, that's a privilege very few people get to enjoy. Fuсk social media and fuсk Facebook in particular.
Yep, that is something I've tried to achieve for years.. I'm jealous for you OP
I know you've probably heard this about a dozen times by now, but..
Don't join Facebook.
They track everything they can about you, down to how long you spend looking at something on your screen. I'm fairly certain they listen to what's going on around you if you put the app on your phone. An ad for something I've mentioned in passing has popped up on my feed shortly later too many times to be a coincidence.
They follow you around on your browser, too. They know what you shop for. It's all specially tailored to sell you their ads.
I keep an account to stay in touch with my family, and it's appalling how much more information they get from you than any other app. Not to mention the heavy prevalence of MAGA hats and I'll-kill-you-before-I-consider-your-opinion conservatives.
Instagram isn't much better, but at least the people there are nicer.
The spying is horrendous. Even after taking so many measures, I still swear I'm eavesdropped occasionally. Ad blockers, private DNS, Firefox containers, GrapheneOS on my phone (I only install messenger, not the Facebook app). I don't use Facebook on Windows.
I wouldn't be surprised if other people's devices are collecting info about me. I have no control over that.
Unfortunately it's at a point that I won't get invited to parties without it. It's how my friends all organise events.
It sounds like Facebook tracks non-registered users as well, so everything you're saying remains true for everyone who doesn't have a pretty strong security posture.
If OP isn't blocking third party cookies, FB scripts, and piholing unwanted requests, they might as well join the platform and get the tenuous benefits it provides.
My advice is to cancel joining.
You're on social media right now, but personally, I don't care if there's nothing when people look me up: Seems like a bonus, I barely get spam calls anymore.
Please don't.
I used to have Facebook. Dabbled with Instagram and Twitter. Don't use any of them now. Feel 10x better.
I keep my Linkedin updated, but Linkedin is BS. I hate it. Facebook I only keep for shitposting and because it's the way my husband's family keeps in touch (my husband deleted his FB years ago). Facebook is not great. Would not recommend. Honestly, most social media websites are shit and I could not recommend. Lemmy is kind of social media, and this is okay. I liked reddit too, back when I used it.
My guess is it's because potential matches ask.
As a woman, I don't find it weird, but I do find it unfortunate. It's an easy, quick way to get a better understanding on if you're who you say you are. Sure, it can be faked, but... that's more rare, and mostly easily sussed out.
I like seeing Instagram personally. Not to follow, just as a good check. But if you don't want insta, I'd suggest pixelfed. It's not a part of meta and it functions as an instagram.
LinkedIn is pretty good, for finding work. I've gotten a lot of offers there. Ultimately never took any of them, ironically, but worth the time to set up a good profile.
If you're thinking of joining Facebook... Don't. It's not worth it. Tell people you have something else and give them that info. Like your phone number or your email or your WhatsApp/telegram/whatever.
I hate how I have Facebook and am so dependent on it. I wish I could tell people I don't have it.
I'm seconding the "no Facebook" thing, and I'd add "no Meta-Owned anything". Facebook is constantly showing me conspiracy flat earth shit with people honest to god arguing about it, and everyone in other posts strangely all comment the same thing or early similar things to the point that I've checked peoples accounts out to see if they are bots or not. Instagram isn't much better, and a LOT of it is basically soft-core attention seeking influencers. Threads.... Isn't giving anything better than what Mastodon offers.
I swear. One of these days I will pull the plug.
[Palpatine: Do it.]
I haven't scrolled Facebook in over a decade I think. But nobody interesting posts on Facebook in my feed so I'm not too bothered. Instagram is good to me. Giving me only like comics and skits and stuff from people I follow, and things similar to what I enjoyed before like certain sports etc. I'd gladly jump Facebook if I could find my friends elsewhere. I wish Messenger wasn't connected to a Facebook account. 😞
If anyone seriously judged me for not being on a particular website I'd have to consider their competency at managing life.
You can still be subconsciously judged or ignored, though. It's easy to get left out because you aren't thought about because you aren't in a particular group chat, for example.
I'd say if you aren't on them and don't need them, there's no reason to dip your toe in.
It's okay to be a little weird and save tons of time and not have to read worthless comments.
I was part of the main ones, but got rid of everything, LinkedIn Facebook, all of it. They are useless or detrimental personally, and I don't need them for my job.
This is the extent of my social media now.
OP understands the risks, and they're asking for tips on how to mitigate them if they have to make an account.
A lot of the comments here either missed or intentionally ignored the post body... Or the downvotes on the comment with a personal account saying how single women can feel safer if they can learn about a new person before meeting them.
People have different circumstances and perspectives :)
My advice for the original post:
I think it can help to have some presence, even if it is to control what information comes up when someone looks you up.
Don´t, it´s fucking horrible. Yes, this also includes a major part of lemmy. If you really wan´t to, I would advise to only focus on nice little communities that are specialized in one of your personal interests. Generally, the larger a community becomes, the more toxic and stupid it gets in my experience.
if you have no desire to 'participate' on a social media platform, but want people to still be able to 'google' you, perhaps a personal web page on your own domain. with a brief bio, your cv, and perhaps some interesting tidbits from hobbies or work projects.
Weird how no one recommended Mastodon yet.
You can switch your profile to public and follow some nice people and hashtags, if anyone wants to check your vibe. All with you real name. It has become the good version of twitter for me and at least in europe many people are starting to use it.
I have never had a social media account under my real name, apart from Linkedin, which is just there to show me for possible employers.
When I google myself, I only get results about my address and my Linkedin profile, so I do atleast exist.
As for advice about joning something like Facebook....
Great advice, and thank you for answering the question :)
Ignorance is bliss.
It's not standard to still expect to find anyone on social media these days. If someone mentioned they couldn't find you and that was important to you maybe you should ask that specific person for advice?
In my experience the expectation these days is for people to be available in some chat apps online (depending where you are: WhatsApp, signal, telegram or iMessage).
About 7 years back I joined everything there was, Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook, Twitter. Then I started using Reddit, honestly the best social media at that time. Amazing repository for information (still is). I can tell you now that all those platforms are all garbage. They're like 70% bot content and 20% reposts by actual people, maybe 10% are actual original posts. It's so hard to find something that is authentic and new on the internet nowadays.
Lemmy, Mastadon, the Fediverse as a whole at this point in time, has some of the best content every. Although small and not vast, the content is top notch. I scroll everyday and very often find some of the most engaging discussions in any of the subs, AskLemmy for example.
Now, if you're going to start using social media, I suggest you use it containerized (vm) or use a new computer with a burner cell number (redpocket is like $30/year on ebay). Just to see garbage for yourself.
Edit: oh yeah, at some point I did use TikTok. You can check it out on proxitok I think. That shit is poison. I personally sifted through and saw the shit for what it really is (spyware that is coated in social media). Dancing girls everywhere, reddit voiceovers, people pointing at things over original content, some of the most cringe content known to mankind.
It would be better to host a site.
If you really need to, I'd recommend social media within the Fediverse.
First, a Mastodon account with your real name, photo and a small bio. Post your thoughts or quotes or whatever; repost memes, art, etc. Leave an option for people to send you messages, with whatever privacy you see fitting. In case you worry about it, Mastodon is a known alternative to Twitter, and Twitter is very toxic nowadays, so people will find it reasonable that you have a Mastodon account instead.
There's also Pixelfed, if you like photos. It is an alternative to Instagram. If you have a hobby, post often about it. I don't know, cooking, skating, painting... Anyway, make it a beautiful gallery of your life and fewer people will question why Pixelfed and not Instagram. You can always excuse yourself saying you don't like so many business accounts on Instagram or whatever excuse, and that you like to give new things a try.
Finally, a WordPress or Plume or WriteFreely blog may be a great opportunity to write and share your ideas. It is kind of retro to have a blog, I guess, but it is a good way for people to get to know you better. You may even find something you're passionate about and create a community. Some people start with two or three pieces of advice about something (like gardening) and end up with a blog full of useful articles and a community that follows them. Blogs usually have an option for private e-mails and a redirection to other social media, so you can have your Mastodon and/or Pixelfed account attached.
Why the Fediverse? You don't sell your soul to corporations, you help it grow, you get a better community.
But give it a second thought, though. Having a social media profile can be exhausting. I personally obsess over it being a good reflection of who I am, respectful in the things I say, with beautiful images, with colors and themes that reflect my personality, with enough of my real self so that people know me but not enough that they cringe or judge me negatively. My objectives (and perfectionism) make it chaotic after a while, and the profile gets more and more inauthentic. That's why I don't have any at the moment. It can also bring some social drama, so, yeah, ponder the pros and cons.
LinkedIn isn't a terrible idea if you just want to come up in search results. It's quite useful for a lot of different professions for networking. You'd likely just make a profile and never look at it again.
Facebook can be almost mandatory depending on where you live. I currently live in a city where Facebook is the only meaningful source of networking, local news and information on events online. It's not uncommon for businesses, even quite larger ones, to have their only media presence online be a Facebook page. The city is also kind of infamously hard to break into socially so you want any advantage you can get.
I don't currently have any social media but it's become a hindrance and I might need to reactivate. I end up using social media by proxy through family and friends anyway.
Quite late for that. The fun time is in the past.
It's better if you filter out and moderate the usage. Just because social media it's bad doesn't mean there's no good part.
LinkedIn, and Instagram. You don't need anything else.
Which branch?
I think Facebook, with its (ostensible) emphasis on real-world connections, is a good place to start.
It was the first social media platform I ever used.
Social media is bad for your mental health. So as you add social media to your life, also add self cate routines like copious exercise, meditation, real-world social contact, etc.
Don’t. Stick to your guns. You will be better off
If you do create a social media profile, just remember two things: you control what you share, and anything you share is out there forever.
If I don’t have anything nice to say I don’t say anything at all.
Why do people feel the need to brag about how they don't use social media?
You’re on social media right now. You know that, right?
You know what they mean. No need to be a smartass about it
Don't do it. I have stopped using Facebook and Instagram since November when they give me the choice to either pay a crazy amount or accept targeted ads.
The amount of time that I suddenly have is crazy. I have already read 7 books and Its been 20 years since I last had read a book!
Not to mention all the negativity and toxicity that I no longer get exposed to.
Its people own fault of they judge you by your being online of social media or not. That said, I don't think you'd be any better if they did value you on what you do online.
Maybe you can create a website with your basic information a few pictures and a short descriptive text. It's kind of a business card style website that will show up when people search your name on Google
Ummm isn't this a post on Lemmy? Aren't you already using social media then?