this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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Same with porn. But I'm building a shake-power generator for fleshlites so it should balance out the power it pulls. Saving the earth one jack-off at a time.
Charging a hybrid car battery only takes 253.4 jerks. Pretty soon we will be expanding our charging service to parking lots across America and Canada! Most of them already have people willing to do it for you already ...they were doing it there anyway... Win/win.
Powerjerk (tm), we make perverts work for you!
Just roll up and say "Hey Jagoff, I need to get to x!" And you'll promptly be taken care of.*
*Do not give them drugs to speed up the process. We are serious about our drug-free workplace.
Edit: steal my idea and I'll find you
Energy isn't free. More power captured from jerking will increase food consumed, meaning more energy used in farming. You'll have to brand this as either a carbon ~~capture~~ fapture system or as a weight loss program
1 kilowatt hour is about 870kCal.
Humans are incredibly inefficient power generators. I can buy 1kWh of electricity from the grid for about 18 cents (generation…transmission is extra).
I don’t think I can buy 870kCal of food for 18 cents. Certainly not a healthy source. And that’s even assuming 100% efficiency. Any high school physics student will tell you that won’t happen.
Drinking one gallon of gasoline has enough calories to keep you alive for the rest of your life.
Join our team of Jerks. We have a stiff sign on bonus.
By chance are you good at "shooting ropes"? Our clients love ropes.
The new Weight Loss Jerkoff System could solve part of that
P90Sex
Edit: whoops, I linked to our competitor.
And ps... The PC term is jagoff.
The studs at the local Blue Oyster don't call me Spider Man for no reason.
Porn is more beneficial for humanity than imaginary ownership.
Capitalism is based on imaginary ownership.
Nailed it.
Bur, what if they prematurely finish and my car isn't charged yet?
Fired!
I have one word for you:
Service Level Agreement.
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Please elaborate
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What a deal! I can't lose!