Especially if she gave them a good deal
a woman who cheated on them
Hmmmmmm
this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2025
-25 points (19.5% liked)
Ask Lemmy
32515 readers
2066 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I wouldn't under any circumstances. That is an unrepairable breach of my trust.
If they cheat, it's over. No exceptions.
This is the only correct answer.
The choice isn't between being single or settling. It's between keeping your options open for the right person or going back to your abuser.
Calling a partner who cheats an abuser is quite the leap.
There are remorseless serial cheaters for sure, and that is abusive and cruel behavior. There are also people who cheat because they feel like their needs aren't being meet and haven't figured out how to communicate that. And when that happens, there's three options: figure your shit out, learn how to communicate, and rebuild trust; figure your shit out, learn to communicate, and accept if your partner isn't interested in staying with you; or don't take accountability. I don't think any of those make them "abusers," even the last one which is quite shitty. It makes them a flawed human and someone who shouldn't try to be with someone until they figure out how to be better.
Edit to add, I was pondering more and there is a 4th option. I was thinking "don't take accountability and get dumped." But there is also "don't take accountability and your partner stays with you," and I would agree that that is abusive.
You're welcome to define it however you like, but it is by definition an abuse of trust, the relationship, and the other person. You can read through OPs comments on other posts to come to your conclusion on whether or not you think they're abusive, but in a more general sense, that's what it is.
Relationships are built on trust. Cheating breaks that trust. That trust will never fully come back 100%. There so always be doubt and it will never be the same.
Amnesia. A really bad case of amnesia
My spouse and I have been together for almost 30 years and I see no sign of us parting ways anytime soon. We're both persuaded we've lasted that long because we were both ok with the fact that the other is not perfect or faultless.
I will let anyone decide for themselves what limits should be made in a couple, and I will keep ours to ourselves, but even crossing those limits it should always be ok to try to fix it provided both parties are doing it with the right mindset and a willingness to be/to act better.
That's what we both think and that's how we managed to get through quite a few... difficult times, but that doesn't make it an indisputable truth either. It's just our 2 cents ;)
It would take nothing, because I would not accept them back as a partner. I’d rather not find out if “once a cheater, always a cheater” holds true or not.
You need to move on and work on yourself. He’s always going to doubt you to at least some degree. Don’t put him through that.
This feels like it was written one-handed.
About the data, a huuuge chunk of men arent happy in their own skin being themselves. This leads to constant dating and an increased likelihood to cheat. Its more common for women to he happy with themselves, which leads to less desperation in dating and less cheating.
I dunno a cool million might be persuasive enough. Would never trust or fully commit to her but she can rent the dick, I have no problem whoring myself out to women, problem is finding the ones who want to pay me lol
Time, genuine remorse and a reason to believe that it won't happen again. And then it's still not something I'd do lightly but sometimes people do make really stupid mistakes and learn their lesson after so I'm not gonna rule it out entirely.
There would need to be more at stake than just our relationship, like a kid or something. The trust is gone, and while that can be regained over time, I'd never want to spend that kind of time waiting for it to come back.
A kid complicates things. Being in bad relationship for the sake of a child isn't doing the child any favors. Just gives them a bad impression of what a relationship looks like. It's probably better off not being in a relationship but still being in the child's life if the other person allows it. Some instances of cheating are easier to handle than others and there's no hard and fast rule. If it's something that'll interfere in the relationship for a long time, I wouldn't come back.
I say this as a guy that has decided to be single rather than settling. Not because anyone cheated on me. Things didn't work out because of things beyond our control. They set the bar high and I haven't found anyone who is as good.