this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)
  1. Ideate
  2. Ask (noun)
  3. Table (verb)

Does “tabling” mean putting a subject on the table or taking it off?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

“That’s a big ask” drives me crazy. I’ve been hearing it everywhere lately. When did ‘ask’ become a noun?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"It doesn't scale", meaning the company might have to (shudder) hire people if our business doubles.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

“You don’t have a sense of urgency to get things done”. I usually get this when I’m going crazy to get things done so my status reports and presentations suffer. I understand paperwork is necessary, but can’t you at least say that rather than claiming I’m not getting things done. Meanwhile they’re satisfied with my sends of urgency to get things done if I just ignore my work and pamper them with status reports and PowerPoints.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

"pAiN pOiNtS"

these are not knots in muscles they are severe institutional shortcomings and failings that are draining us all, making us want to jump ship, hazardous, and in some cases even making the company lose profit but you fuckheads just want to write down pAiN pOiNtS and jerk yourselves and the shareholders off instead of actually doing ANYTHING MEANINGFUL

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

I can’t read this shit on the weekend you guys are killing me :p

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

War room

You're a Karen and you're going to talk to Pete from accounting about what gift to buy for Sally's birthday

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

Let's circle back.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

People saying something needs to be flushed out when they really want it fleshed out.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

More from the sales types but saying 'value added' is the same as saying greedy mark up.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

This isn't strictly corpo-speak, but upper mgmt type people do this a lot:
Misuse of the word "myself." Like, "if you have any questions, talk to Joe or myself."
Nice one dumb-ass--you tried to sound smarter by adding syllables but it didn't work, did it!

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Effectuate

I'm going to effectuate this pole right up the ass of the next person to use that word.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

"going forward."

Yeah, "from now on" worked fine there Phill.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

One company I worked for decided it was a good idea to name a bunch of firings due to performance "Project Panda" 🤦

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Place I worked at some time ago made a big speech and unveiled the following company motto to a lot of confused faces: "Engagement makes awareness sustainable."

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
  • Holistic
  • Double Click
  • Table Stakes
  • Jump Ball
  • Blocking & Tackling
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Ping: emailing someone

Revert: emailing someone

[Topic] came up on diary: I'm emailing someone

Signs you work in a bullshit email job.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I used to have a coworker who would also say things like "I'll ping you after the meeting" and I'd chuckle because it sounded so stupid.

One day he asked me why I was smirking and I lied and told him "You know what 'pinging' means, right? It's the act of putting a metal rod in your urethra and tapping it with a tuning fork."

He NEVER said it again.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What do you have against massages? I find them relaxing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don’t remember what it was exactly but someone said something along the lines of “we’ll need to massage it a bit as we roll it out” regarding a new system being implemented.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Oh god I've heard that one many times before as well. It's like adult baby talk

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Q3 numbers have a life of their own. Growing, shrinking, zig zagging all over the place. Pushing needles, pulling levers. And fyi, the roi is tbd. high five synergy!

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