this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I'm going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

Leaning towards Cardinal Pietro Parolin - Cardinal secretary of state.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I thought the crowd favorite would've been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Be male Be a roman catholic Get enough cardinals to vote for you

[–] [email protected] 15 points 19 hours ago

So you're saying Luigi has a chance?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 18 hours ago

I'd vote for him

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Dang I might have to change my vote

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think we should reelect Francis.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

We just gotta set up one of those WH40K Golden thrones for him!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Guarantee they have something that's already halfway there tucked in a warehouse.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago

I'm thinkin' Father Guido Sarducci will come outta nowhere and sprint to the win.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

I hereby crown/appoint Rowan Atkinson as Pope Johnny.

May his Beanliness 🫘 last forever.

Related

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Accountability.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago

Vermin Supreme.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago

I see what you did there.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago

The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.

So it's J D Vance.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 hours ago

420 Blaze It

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I'm votin' fer yours truly. I'd make a kick-ass pope. 😤

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and vote for you.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.

The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Adam Savage

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago

Resurrected harambe

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican

theme song

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do you think that is why JD Nonce was in the Vatican? To force the Pope into announcing Trump as his successor?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I heard he was there to kill him. Hence his death shortly after.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

All the pope had to do to live was say thank you, but he didn't.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

Well he did defeat Mecha Streisand.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"You're the pope?? I didn't vote for you..."

  • Benjamin Franklin, probably. Or whoever it was that said "Not everything quoted on the internet is real"

Honestly I don't care (well, beyond making this ~~pope~~ post), as I am not catholic. I am technically a protestant by heritage, but the truth is that I find even the term "agnostic" to be too religiously loaded to the point where I usually refer to myself as areligious instead.

As for the pope. Well, he's... there.. well, not right now. But he will be soon-ish. I'll just accept whoevers named announced while venting smoke from the cardinal thunderdome as being the new pope. And then he'll be there again.

Beyond that, he doesn't affect my life in any way. Nor do I affect his life in any way. Unless he accepts my challenge to an offroad and uphill car race. Yes, he's gonna have to drive the popemobile himself for this. I'll be driving my new AWD Lolvo. I'm sure it'll be fun for anyone involved, no matter who wins.

But having said all of that: I think Robbie Coltrane would do well as a pope.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago

I am nominating myself, being as I am a Discordian Pope.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Bill Burr would be pretty funny I think

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