betterdeadthanreddit

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

When I'm dragged across an array of sharp raised metal bumps on a plane until there's a pile of me in strips and chunks on the plate below.

No, wait, that's the grate-ist feeling, sorry.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Take them anyway, I really don't want to be stuck with a bunch of rapture reject crybabies. Burn me in hell forever, see if I give a shit, but don't make me listen to them whine about it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

If I were in their position (and an {even bigger} asshole but that's implied), my plan would involve claiming partial credit for defeating [Losing_Candidate]. When the new POTUS does things I don't like, I can also get all sanctimonious and preachy about not having voted for them so my hands are clean. Best of both worlds.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Strong entry for an Ig Nobel Prize if nothing else.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Have you asked these colleagues what they're hoping to gain from those certs to see why they think they're worthwhile? Might just be people looking for a little variety in the work day if it's something they can do on company time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 week ago (6 children)

What did the farmer say when he found three deep holes in his field?

Well, well, well, look what we have here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

What a coincidence, that's what I call all the months.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Sometimes I'm a shitizen of the world.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Turns out this was all due to a clerical error in the contract back when the system was built: instead of UN Secure Information Access, they got Unsecure Information Access.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

And almost a full set of teeth between them.

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