My opinion is that nothing insincere works, and you'd better find that interest inside yourself and allow it to guide you. Even if you won't manage a lot of eye contact.
But admittedly I have a diagnosis and I don't have a girlfriend.
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
My opinion is that nothing insincere works, and you'd better find that interest inside yourself and allow it to guide you. Even if you won't manage a lot of eye contact.
But admittedly I have a diagnosis and I don't have a girlfriend.
find that interest inside yourself
I looked in my asshole but found something else entirely. Where is can I look? What other spot can I pick?
I suppose you don't really need a girlfriend with such looking skills.
It’s not just eye contact, there’s all the rest of it too including other body language and how you’re speaking to someone.
That said, I used to occasionally hang with a guy that chased all the girls (the kind of guy that would ignore you as soon as a girl he could be interested in showed up) and he would all but stare at her in conversation. Made me uncomfortable by proxy, lol. Seemed effective, but that’s what he did.
There are plenty of videos out there on body language or "non verbal communication". A common one which i picked up on long ago and to myself referred to as "the uppy/downy" look is what you want. It's a clue someone MIGHT be into you when they make eye contact, look away (usually down), then make eye contact again. Allegedly they are checking you out, looking away, then looking to see if you're still looking. It's fair to say it works both ways.
I'm going to need class 101 on 411 as I've no idea what it is
In the US, 411 was/is a phone number you could call for "information", specifically directory assistance. Many carriers no longer offer it.
411 is number I think they post on high ways when people don't know where to find what they need in the area.
like this 👀 idk man how am i supposed to show you from here
There's a song:
"I was looking back to see if she was looking back to see if I was looking back at her"
And also an Islamic proscription against looking twice at a person of opposite sex since it signals interest.
So at least one sort of look that signals interest is the looking again. I also think the kind of sideways look with a smile is good.
Do not go for intense and smoldering. That is some sort of advanced level shit that we civilians cannot manage, it will go wrong.
Just smile, like genuinely, and wave or acknowledge her with your head when she looks. And if she turns away then stop, she's not interested or she's playing manipulation games. There's no "right look", that's something Hollywood made up for romance movies. The only bad thing you could do is exactly what they do in those movies. Sitting across the room and trying to just use your eyes reads as creepy. So if you're trying to catch her eye, you should also be trying to get to her, talk to her.
sometimes i keep looking until she does, sometimes i keep staring at her. it doesn't matter, based on the condition
Smile with your eyes.
Whatever that means.
It means squint, pucker your mouth, and blow a fart.
One element is to smile with your teeth. If a woman smiles with her mouth closed, it's just a friendly thing. Old gf told me that and a couple of decades of observation have born that truth out.
Know that face you make when you really want to smile, but are obviously holding it in? That can work.
Making strong eye contact, holding-it-in-smile, then blushing away, just to look again with a full-teeth smile sends a strong signal.
OTOH, if you have to consciously think about how to compose your face, you better be a trained actor. Humans have a solid sixth-sense for the disingenuous.
In any case, don't merely stare without expression. Yikes.
Snap snap grin grin wink wink nudge nudge say no more! Know what I mean, nudge nudge?