this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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One that comes to mind for me: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not always true. Maybe even only half the time! Are there any phrases you tend to hear and shake your head at?

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[–] [email protected] 154 points 4 months ago (10 children)

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

No. What doesn't kill you creates trauma.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah what didn't kill me gave me a chronic disease. I'm weak as hell compared to 3 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (3 children)

For me it turned me into a depressed person who no longer feels emotion the way I did before. I'm 99% numb. The other 1% is manic attacks.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What doesn't kill you evolves and tries again

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (2 children)

In the same vein (and at least as dangerous): "Pain is just weakness leaving the body." No, you testosterone poisoned numb-nuts - it is your body's way of telling you that something is not right. Stop and listen!

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (5 children)

I’m a fan of “what doesn’t kill you only serves to postpone the inevitable.” But maybe that’s a bit fatalistic.

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[–] [email protected] 123 points 4 months ago (2 children)

“All’s fair in love and war”

No it isn’t you fucking sociopath

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[–] [email protected] 102 points 4 months ago (17 children)

Not a fan of "it is what it is". It's called a thought-terminating cliche. It often means "I'm tired of talking about this, do it my way" when my boss says it.

[–] [email protected] 86 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I've always liked it. I guess it depends who is saying it because when my old boss said it, it meant more like, "this is the situation we're in, let's not waste time arguing about why it is the situation and let's just focus on dealing with it and going forward"

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (7 children)

Yeah it can have wildly different meanings depending on the circumstances in which it's said. It can be "well we can't change it, may as well get on with life" all the way to "well this discussion is not gonna change anything, let's get on with fixing it". Very similar, but polar opposite sentiments.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

,I feel like this one is context dependent. Sometimes it's just acceptance of the situation.

"Wish it weren't so hot outside, but this is Texas in August. It is what it is."

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (2 children)

An entirely hollow statement, yet somehow ringing with apathy.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 88 points 4 months ago (8 children)

"Everything happens for a reason ."

No. Fuck no, and fuck you. I DARE you to say that to the faces of the endless innocent people—many of whom are CHILDREN—who have been murdered, tortured, abused, enslaved, raped, ect.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I hate how people use this but not the phrase itself.

Everything DOES happen for a reason. It's literal, precise, and accurate. Reasons dont need to be mysterious, aloof, or unknowable. They often are because we choose to stop learning but everything does happen for a reason so start looking for better questions

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 4 months ago (12 children)

"Grow up and live in the real world" / "Life's not fair" / other thought-terminating cliches used to shut down anyone who wants the world to be a better place than it is. Like, I fucking know it's an unfair place. The whole point is that I would like for it to be less unfair.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I got told "life isn't fair" so many times growing up, I came up with a default comeback: "Doesn't mean you have to be."

A version of it has grown to became my tenet in life: "The universe doesn't care, so we have to."

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

"Pull up by the bootstraps"aka bootstrapping was a phrase originally coined to mean something being literally impossible and is now used as a tool to shame the poor for not overcoming nearly impossible social barriers.

"That's just how they are" is always used to excuse bullies for being bullies.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago

aka bootstrapping

"Bootstrapping" came after "pull up by the bootstraps". The former does allude to the latter, but it isn't the same phrase; it was used in computing to refer to the initial startup of a computer, where the computer has to start up enough of itself to load its own code into memory. That's a difficult problem, but not an impractical one.

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (6 children)

"He/she just tells it like it is" No, they are just saying things that resonate with you, but have no actual alignment with data, facts or morality. Simply saying things with no filter doesn't equal "like it is". I find it is usually attributed to, at best, oversimplified or completely ignorant statements, at worst, misleading and/or hateful statements.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Unused ram is wasted ram. Pisses me off to no end. What I do with my ram is my concern, I don't want you bloating up and using it.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I assumed this was about sheep at first, and was confused and increasingly concerned.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Nah. It's about siege tools.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 4 months ago (2 children)

In response to gross privacy violations from big companies and governments:

"If you've done nothing wrong, you've got nothing to fear."

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 months ago (6 children)

“Quick question” just means you want a quick answer

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 months ago (4 children)

"lets agree to disagree"

how about fuck you, one of us is wrong and I want to know which one of us that is!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Most people don’t care about what’s true, something that took me forever to realize. Encountering humanity under the assumption that everyone cares about the truth (or any aspect of empirical and normative reality) is bound to be suuuper confusing until you figure things out. People are literally animals (we forget that), and animals are just trying to survive. Some of them are cute or loving. Not all of them are particularly “good,” and even fewer are willing to sacrifice creature comforts in pursuit of some abstract virtues. That’s why Trump gets any votes.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

"God loves you" is fine for me. they are usually simply wishing us happiness in their own way (sure it can be passive-aggressively throw to people they call "sinners" too).

What I really despise is "god has a plan" as words of comfort.

A plan for fucking what? Noahs ark V2? cleverly getting around the "promise not to flood the earth" clause by having greedy assholes pollute the earth in his stead ?

"Ah little 4 year old Andrew would fuck up my plans, better give him cancer... Hm, let's hit Jane with a truck just incase"

I don't appreciate that you somehow think a magic man in the sky planning something so cruel would be of any comfort to me.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (3 children)

"it's just a few bad apples"

That's only half the saying. It is used most of the time as if the full thing is "a few bad apples aren't a problem because the rest are fine" rather than the real thing "a few bad apples spoil the lot."

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (7 children)

I'm sure I'll get guff for this but, "common sense". Throughout my youth, when people told me something was common sense, I usually thought they were wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (2 children)

people talking about not being old enough to retire.

Retirement is a function of finance not age.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (3 children)

You can't take money from certain funds like 401k before reaching certain age without paying hefty penalty tho

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (7 children)

"Boys will be boys"

How about you teach your kid how to behave and respect others so they don't grow up to be an entitled asshole.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (5 children)

When you forget what you were about to say:

"Must not have been important"

How in the ever-living fuck could anybody come to that conclusion?

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (7 children)

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you numb and traumatized, not stronger. Big difference.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"No pain, no gain. "

As someone who's been running for over 30 years and working ou for 20, if there is pain, there is injury. When there is injury, you take a break and regress. People may say that muscle pain or stiff muscles are a sign of a good workout, not an injury. However, even with those your risk of injury is much higher, and you'll eventually hurt yourself. "No pain" should be one of the outcomes of smart exercise, not an admonishment for not working hard enough.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

"It's human nature" used to describe something horrific like war or rape.

It's not. Human nature is as when we were children, playing with friends and loving each other.

Militaries have to condition humans to do violence to each other and to follow orders from "superiors". Half of school is quashing kids' creativity and making them follow arbitrary rules because "the adults" say so.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

It's been a millenium since I've heard it, as I no longer qualify as young.

But

"You'll understand when you're older"

I'm older.

I'm thirty.

The only thing I "understand" is that all the rules are arbitrary as all fuck, society was made up by idiots with giant sticks up their arses, and everyone should go fuck themselves.

The only "progress" I made is that I stopped hating myself for "failing at society" and started hating society for failing so many people.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (4 children)

"Make America Great Again" 😂🤣

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

"Practice makes perfect."

Let me tell you about my 7th grade all county band audition, where I showed up and skillfully played 40 measures of not what the sheet music said because I misread it and practiced what I misread.

"Practice" needs some kind of mechanism for feedback and correction, such as a coach or instructor.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

"If you run into assholes all day you're the asshole"

Because bullying is not a thing amirite

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I dont think it applies if everyone you know is actually an asshole.

The takeaway from the phrase is just to check yourself and your attitude. Make sure you aren't the one being difficult before you confirm that all these other people are shit heads.

Juat about self-awareness.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

I prefer the version. "If you smell shit, check the floor. If you constantly smell shit, check your shoes."

It's a reminder that a 1 off problem is likely external to you. If the problem seems to follow you around, it's likely attached to you.

It doesn't deny that the problem could still be external, but not to externalise things unless you are sure you're not causing it.

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