The only reason coders’ computers work better than non-coders’ computers is coders know computers are schizophrenic little children with auto-immune diseases and we don’t beat them when they’re bad.
Well... said?
this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2024
276 points (96.3% liked)
Programmer Humor
35056 readers
140 users here now
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
My computer works better than that of others? I'm not so sure sometimes.
I just received an email from my home server saying that I have 8 sectors offline on my main storage Array.
I once told my father that people who work with computers run into problems all the time, it's just that the problems we have are at a different scale or degree from the problems someone like he experienced. He said that it soothed him to hear that.
Which is odd- I threaten mine, and that’s why it behaves.
opens htop threateningly
Pid 3386 behave or I am gonna SIGKILL all your children. That's not an EMPTY THREAT. In fact I will start with the first one RIGHT NOW.
I generally feel like the opposite is true. I have more stability issues because of the weird half fucked hacks that I've installed over 7 different attempts to use the CLI to make my computer hallucinate small rainbow dogs.
It is telling that I read the entire post feeling varying degrees of incredulity and despair, yet what really upset me was the missing <rant> at the beginning.
Not in the slightest. I feel the same way.
So he proved his point, didn't he...
"This is so funny and painful!"
In about 2 weeks this will be 10 years old
And I’m honestly astonished I’d never come across this before. This ranks up there with the story of Mel.
Mel, a real programmer!
I'd add a motherfucking website. While not exactly a story, it's one of my favorite bits on the internets
I knew this one, but I enjoy it everytime. Because it's true, we add way too much stuff we don't need, and that page loads instantly and gets the point across. It's perfect.
everything beyond https://motherfuckingwebsite.com is worse imo
Nah, it takes very little effort or compute to get something much much better in pretty much every aspect.
Shades of Maddox. Love it!
Just wait until you find the daily wtf!
Years ago. LOL. Today’s my XKCD 10000 for this particular post, though.
ERROR: Attempted to parse HTML with regular expression; system returned Cthulhu.
classic.
I fucking love this post and reference it constantly to my programmer friends. It's one of my favorite bits of writing to exist, honestly.
For that matter, actually, pretty much everything Peter Welch writes is great. I highly recommend taking a peek through the rest of his blog. I liked it so much I bought one of his books.
Is this what burnout looks like?
I wish