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I watched an extremely drunk dude kick his own ass at the nightclub because I accidentally touched his hand when reaching for my drink. He started drunkenly yelling at me that I was some kind of homo for wanting to touch him. I told him it was an accident, and walked outside to have a cigarette. He followed me outside and tried to fight me. But, he was so drunk that I saw his punch coming a mile away and just stepped back a couple of inches. The momentum from his punch carried him all the way around in a circle and then he fell forward and smacked his head on a brick planter. The sound was awful. He knocked himself out cold, and blood was everywhere. I just went back inside while the bouncers tried to wake him up, and I never saw him again.
Greatest thing I've read all night.
Haha, I'm glad it was entertaining.