this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
335 points (90.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26890 readers
1691 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago

Wait, I have clarifying questions.

Were you also in the rain?

Were you offering the umbrella to take with me?

Were you offering to share the umbrella?

I don't mind a little rain, especially when I have my rain jacket on. Sometimes I find carrying an umbrella around cumbersome. If it's really pouring, I have several umbrellas of various sizes, but more often than not I'll just go without.

If you are also in the rain, I don't want to deprive you of the umbrella you cared to bring.

If I'm taking the umbrella with me, that's an implied obligation to return the umbrella in good condition, something I don't trust myself to remember to do. I'd rather be a little wet than create that social contract I'm probably going to fuck up somehow and foster animosity.

If you're offering to share the umbrella, there's an implied intimacy there. I'm happily married, and we are secure in our relationship that neither feels threatened that the other would cheat, but I still don't want to give someone else the wrong impression. I have friends I'll happily share an umbrella with, but there's a much larger number of people who might offer and I'll decline. Like another parent at a kid's sporting event. Someone who's name I ought to know, but can't remember, and I've met the other parent, but I don't know what their deal is. Someone who goes in for the hug, but has never seen the inside of my car. Are they just super friendly, or are they angling for more? I'm fairly oblivious to the "signals" as my wife will attest, and I've been accused in the past of leading people on, so I'm a little gunshy.

So if that's being interpreted as toxic masculinity, I think I'd rather people believe that about me than have to politely decline another indecent proposal from someone I'm going to have to see at every PTO meeting.