Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Pppfff heck yeah.
Pretty good example is my lifestyle.
I travel perpetually. I saved money for several years, invested it, budget the interest, and don't work unless I want to.
For years, when my lifestyle comes up, people often say something like "I wish I could do that" or "I've always wanted to travel". After I say "you definitely can", they ask me how they can do it.
When I explain how simple and cheap it is to work less/travel, they 1) get angry or 2) dismissive.
Their stated goals haven't changed, they still claim to want to travel and stop working, but after hearing that they can do it at any point, they shut down or say "well, maybe one day...", which means that after years of living a lifestyle they're dissatisfied with, they're going to choose to continue their confining lifestyle.
Usually in real life they insist they "could never", but online they seem more comfortable condemning any quick or simple solution to working too much and being depressed/poor/trapped in their life.
Other travelers I meet say the same thing, that they can only travel for a limited time, but the allienation is more stark with people who I know more personally.
I'll go traveling, and each time I visit old friends hear the same "wow, what, how?", then "must be nice" and "I could never" stuff I've heard year after a year from the same people.
I haven't brought up my lifestyle on my own initiative in years because I've experienced over and over how upset people become when they realize that they can take control of their lives at any point and are choosing not to.
So any advice on how to do it? Sounds intriguing. Not that I'd want to have that lifestyle, but still curious.
There are tons of ways, teaching English overseas, trick out an RV and add solar, digital nomad, it really depends on the interests of the person.
The nice thing is that many options take almost no training or prep time.
They're right there to take advantage of.
What do you mean you wouldn't want to have that lifestyle, traveling or not working?
Both, tbh. I'm not a workaholic, but I really like my work, so I'd get bored if I didn't work. And I have a pretty sweet work-life balance.
Travelling I like of course, but not too often, I have a really expensive mattress to help alleviate my chronic back pain and sleeping somewhere else is not a pleasant experience. So doing it once in a while is fine, doing it regularly would suck.
And last but not least, lately I like my peace and quiet, constant travelling would not go well with that.
It isn't that you stop working, it's that you stop working on things you don't want to work on.
You work only on things you want to work on.
Traveling is all about peace and quiet for me, but I hear similar preconceived anxieties pretty often.
Maybe 5 days ago or something, a friend called me up, said they wish they could travel, and asked me to walk them through it again.
I told them how to get a visa (One page online application form, five minutes tops), and they said traveling just sounds so tiring and they can't do it right now.
Tiring?
Hang out, do whatever you want or relax, go eat sometimes.
Not an exhausting lifestyle, but a lot of my friends with day jobs imagine that their lunch breaks are more recuperative than having a lunch break all day.
Bonkers.
I wouldn't really call chronic back pain a preconceived anxiety, but you do you.
Just accept that your lifestyle isn't good for everyone. You found something that works well for you, congrats! Doesn't mean you found some huge secret on how to make everyone's life better.
The preconceived notion that travelling is tiring.
Why do you think my lifestyle is good for everyone?
I did find this huge secret, and people don't like knowing how easily they can/could have achieved their goals.
They go on the attack as soon as they realize they've been wasting time.
I mean, I've travelled a bit and it is tiring. For me. It might not be for you, but really, your experience is not other people's experience.
Did somebody tell you my experience is other people's experience?
And I got to ask, what is tiring about doing whatever you want or or don't want to?
I would never stop working. I enjoy what I do and I find it fulfilling. Nevertheless. I love you.
That's cool. You can still work when you want to, I do.
Do you build?
I rarely receive that response, and I think when I have it's exclusively from someone who builds houses or something like that.
I do build, but I build systems, not buildings.
Cool.
Creative endeavors are where it's at.
I've come to understand that when people say, "I wish I could do that" or "I could live a life like that"... they're just admiring a thing that is mildly interesting or fashionable.
Most people hear "you can do it too" as a challenge to their current choices and not an invitation to a happier life. I don't take it personal...
As for how you're living, I find it really inspiring! I've tried to work out how I can make some changes and it's great to hear that others are doing it well.
Definitely. If they say something non-specific like " that sounds great" or " I wish I could do that", I don't pursue the topic at all.
It's more after we have a conversation including "Do you think I could do that too? How? Can you help me do it?" And I have to provide specific answers or show them and then receive the brunt of their ire or dismissal.
It is so satisfying when I do help someone achieve their goals, though, that if I am asked specific questions I usually help, even if nine out of 10 people will balk at the opportunity once they can see it in front of them.