this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
94 points (98.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26734 readers
3235 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 78 points 11 months ago (4 children)

When my dad died. I was 46. My mom had died 7 weeks before. I realized I had no one to turn to anymore and I was at the top of the trouble ladder. I wasn't stoked about it. I'm still not.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

Sorry for your loss.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

As a parent and homeowner I definitely feel like an adult now. But I do still reach out to my parents for help and support from time to time. I'm really going to miss them when they're gone, but being "at the top of the trouble ladder" isn't something I had considered.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

I kinda know the feeling. My dad died in '07 when I was 34, my mother in '20 and her last brother died this year. My sisters and I are now the oldest generation (together with nices and nephews on that side) My yongest sister just turned 42.

I still refuse to admit I'm adult, just old. (At least that's what my body tells me from time to time, "you're not 20 anymore, I'm not putting up with those shenanigans")

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago

I remember the exact moment. I had just got a Home Depot gift card from my in-laws and my first thought was, "I'm going to buy a really nice hose"

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Cashing in pennies so I could get enough gas to get to work and pick up my check... To pay for more gas

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of when I moved cities and was having a rough go of it. I borrowed 20 bucks for gas and my gas light was still on. This was only a few weeks after I had ran out of gas on my way to an interview to deliver pizza.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Who orders pizza during an interview?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

That's how I spent my teenage years. I wasn't much of an adult yet.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I'm old so things were a bit different...

When I was growing up, adults were Mister and Misses. When Mr. Jones became Jack and Mrs. Smith became Barbara it was an indication that I was an adult.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

It's funny you mention this. It was really weird the first time one of my coworkers referred to me as "Miss" plus my first name. In the southeast US, this is a common way to show respect to an older woman that you consider a friend too.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wanting socks for christmas.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I was that kid though. Not exclusively socks, but I have sensitive feet and learned early on that there are few pleasures as good as the feel of a nice new pair of socks against my footsies.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Probably the first time I realized someone didn't like me and I honestly didn't care. I hadn't done anything to them that I know of. I guess I just wasn't their cup of tea. And you know what? I was ok with that because I like me and that's not something that I've always been able to say.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Well I like that about you. Good for you.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

When I was excited about buying some mundane thing for my house, like a toaster oven or chair.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

When I realized that adults are just kids in an older outer packaging. Things barely change, they just start involving money and hearth, that's pretty much it.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

Oh man, getting into a workplace and finding out folks are just as gossipy or petty about inconsequential bullshit as high schoolers are (Like that one tweet about a manager being upset that the CC's on a e-mail weren't in seniority order.) was an eye opener for sure.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The first time was when I accidentally cut myself with a new knife while trying to chop a cabbage. Thankfully due to quick reflexes, it wasn't a serious cut, but I remember for just a split second that old childhood instinct of looking around for the adult kicked in... right before I remembered I was the adult, and was the one in charge of the situation.

After that I just got myself plastered up and was groovy. Still have the scar to this day to remind me of my green nemesis.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

Had to buy toilet paper. That shit magically appeared when I was a kid.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Back in 2014, I got my own apartment, and realized that I am now responsible, not only for feeding myself, but also keeping a roof over my head, I need insurance and need to pay for utilities.

I remeber that I cried a bit when my parents left after having helped me move, then I walked to the shops and bought a steak and made dinner...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (6 children)

If you know how to cook you're ahead of the curve.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

While hiking for one of the first times as an adult, I remember going to the local school and, upon seeing the school and having to remind myself I was done with school days, thinking "wow this feels weird, it's like playing the post-story of a video game".

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

I clogged the toilet and it overflowed at an apartment I was sharing during a college internship. I panicked and yelled for my roommate. My roommate took care of it by toweling it all up, mopping, and such; I watched him do it all, horrified.

Afterwards I realized what a shitty thing it was for me to a) not clean it up myself and b) not even help. I grew up a lot that day.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Getting a pet. I moved out of my parents' place in 2009, but bringing home a cat a few months later felt like the first big adult decision I had made. I had pets before, but they were family pets so my siblings and parents all had a hand in taking care of them.

But the feeling of "this is a living thing and it's relying on me to keep it alive" was an entirely different thing.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sometime in the past ten years, my doctors started being younger than I am, and I'm still conflicted about it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

When i realized "there are no adults" (as a child would define it, of authority)... only children, peers, and those lusting for power.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

When the centerfold was younger than me.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

When the centerfold is younger than my kid.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

I’m 31, home owner with a husband, 2 kids and a cat. I still don’t feel like an adult and I don’t know if I ever will!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Managing my family's finances after my dad and grandpa passed away

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I had something similar. My mom passed and my dad had no idea how to live without her. His life skills (outside of work) were basically laundry and making toasted tomato sandwiches. Didn't realize how adult I was until I had to teach someone 30 years older than me how to live.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I was very young when I thought I was an adult. I was wrong and got in trouble for sassmouth but I definitely thought I was an adult at like age 7.

To give a serious answer, though, probably at 15 when I had a real, legal job and a car and stuff. I grew up fairly poor and was already just an independent kid. I had been earning money mowing lawns and refereeing soccer and stuff. But once I could legally work, I got a kitchen job and childhood was over pretty quick. At that point, I sort of was an adult. I lived with my mom (because I legally had to) but I had car insurance bills and a paycheck and shit. I had to do taxes. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 and not need my mom’s signature for things.

I know that’s weird but some kids are just like that. I remember when we all went to college, I was so ready to launch that it came as a shock to me when some of my friends were homesick and confused.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Getting excited about vacuum cleaners. Oh and some nice produce at the local grocery store.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Having a baby. When I became responsible for another human, I really felt like an adult for the first time.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

32 years old and honestly, not sure I do

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'll let you know when I hit that milestone. I still feel like a 13 yo.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Mostly my job. I'm in healthcare and make life or death decisions on a regular basis. Was 28 when I started and am 32 now. I very regularly have the feeling like "who allowed me to get into this position". And lately, I've started teaching which adds a whole other component.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

[off topic]

Kurt Vonnegut said that at some point he realized that the people he'd gone to high school with were running the world.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

The moment I realized that no one. Anywhere. Has any idea what they are doing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Voluntarily turning the heat down to 65 in the winter.

An actor I was instructing in stage combat called me as Combat Dad.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

When starting to compare prices of food, looking at deals etc...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I'm a grown ass man but that doesn't make me an adult you... You poopy pants!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

When no one else took care of me when something went wrong.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I started putting mustard in things.

...mostly on food to be specific.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I don't know really. I still feel like a student 😂 despite not living with my parents, having a partner, paying my own bills etc.

I still find fun in videogames, riding my bicycle, playing with my RC car etc.. Maybe if/when I have a child of my own something will click?

load more comments
view more: next ›