this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
415 points (96.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 months ago (1 children)

HTML 5 isn't a programming language! (Yes, I'm a nerd)

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Assuming you're talking about HTML5 & CSS it actually is Turing Complete.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

Has anyone ported doom yet?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (7 children)

Wrong. Well, at least incomplete.

You need user interaction (e.g., clicking on a button) and HTML & CSS for Turing Completeness, apparently.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Awesome! I guess I'm a nerd!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I guess I'm an awesome nerd!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

We need to rewrite it to nerd.rs for speed and memory safety!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Is this a safe space to say that my favorite programming language rn is Python?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Only if you use it for systems programming

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Especially writing drivers amirite!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Its okay. I'm sure you'll get over it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

No

Tap for spoiler/jk obvi I like Python

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

When did you get diagnosed?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

How dare you. I'm a physicist, not an engineer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

That's weird, a physicist that deals with the empirical world, how does the rest of your tribe feel about you? I promise you we can treat you better in engineering, but the initiation might be a little hard for you. It includes a lot of chanting "pi is 3", "what good is science if you don't apply it", and "that's a weird parameter, I'll just try setting it to one"

If you want to code like MATLAB but keep the leather elbow patched sports jacket and cozy office, maybe try getting plastered and code Visual Basic, it has the same feeling to it.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

when you're so much of a nerd that your favourite lang isn't in the meme (it's Ada btw)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Is Fortran really your favorite language?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It’s easy syntax for math

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

What if you don't have a favorite programming language? I'm a firm believer that each language offers a specific set a features that makes each one uniquely suck and I often find myself at the crossroads of continuing to use this garbage or to learn a new language only to find it sucks in a different way. (/s another way of saying each language has its niche... (but sucks outside of it))

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

You are a nerd

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's like how some infinite are greater / less than others, sure you might say that each one uniquely sucks, but spend a month trying to build something with say, Salesforce's language, and you'll come to appreciate how there are still tiers to it... much, much lower tiers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not Verilog though. That shit is for jocks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Vhdl gang rise up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I got swirlied by an FPGA

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Thank goodness, apparently I'm not old.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Truest words ever. Would flash/action script be considered?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

No [email protected] ? How the mighty have fallen.

It's still my favorite for now, though I do find Idris and Purescript compelling, too, for different reasons.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Fuck. Ocaml looks cool as hell. I should learn it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Bottom left made me miss Kmart

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Technically, half of those are scripting languages not programming languages.

Anyway my favourite is Bash because I'm weird, even for a nerd.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

how is a script not a program??

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I always thought that programs had to be compiled to be classed as programs.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (5 children)

That's just the difference between compiled and interpreted.

Interpreted programs such as web apps can very much be programs, after all.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Nerds like to push this narrative

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

You're an alien... And a nerd.

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