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I know you can't just flip a switch in your brain, but you need to stop thinking with your dick.
You're too hung up on trying to get laid, and it sounds like you realize this, but took it too far to the other extreme where you act like everybody hates you.
Just treat people like people.
took it too far to the other extreme where you act like everybody hates you.
What? How?
Call up a therapist. That's my recommendation. I don't know why there is any stigma around it.
I don’t know why there is any stigma around it
The most common reason people don't get therapy is probably that it's expensive.
Well, that and there's many reasons why it isn't something most people can just "give it a shot" (transportation, waiting lists and time slots, and paperwork/other hassle for the appointment itself)
That was off the top of my head, but here's a chart:
Some things to note:
Check your benefits package. You might get allotment for this
Some places do virtual online appointments
Why the repost?
No one here is qualified and people that say they are might not be. I would recommend actually looking for mental health to help with your concerns and needs.
There's no shame in asking for medical help.
I have a similar thing and something I realized about 2 years ago: everyone's just people. Genders have different tendencies for generalized thinking patterns and behavior patterns but men are just women with different genitals and vice versa, as goes for all other genders.
The differences that exist are quite something to get used to, but there aren't a lot of them, and the only way to treat your crush is like a best friend that is very open and maybe also has sex with you.
As a guy, getting used to talking about feelings and being open is still hard, but I'm getting better at it. I'm just not as attractive so I have yet to notice someone being physically attracted to me, and only handful have been interested in me at all. Nevertheless, I'm learning and losing inhibitions, and that's the most important thing.
For me, the turning point was taking a bunch of classes on public speaking.
Getting in front of people helped me develop "personas" in unimportant contexts.
Now when I feel like I'm being weird, I can choose to retreat into one of my public speaking personas. And I can sort of hide inside the persona until whatever is bothering me passes.
The net effect on my interaction with the opposite gender is that when things get awkward, I become a kind of well rehearsed bland likeable that puts people at ease.
Only the people closest to me know that it's a mask I wear to cover my own confusion or discomfort. One of the people who knows is my life partner, but of course they like me anyway, now.
Asd diagnosis might help a few things here. Seems like you might have a bit of difficulty being able to express your emotions appropriately. I get it, I just got out of a relationship and it's daunting to be on your own. And to do it for any extended period of time is not a good place to be. People need to have people they love trust and feel that in return. My advice is always practice honesty and vulnerability. Never put yourself in danger but be honest (not creepy) with your intentions and accepting rejection as a possibility is something that will happen but maybe you can talk to your professional support network about it and work on that rejection fear.
There is no requirement to form a long term romantic relationship. Spend time doing things you like with people you like. It seems to me like you are interracting with plenty of women. Any of these interested in sitting down and playing some games with you? If you like that sort of thing. Try making a friend before you consider romantic relationship. I have no idea if this is helpful or not. Just my random thoughts on the matter.
I'm a woman (cisgender) and I can kind of relate. If I know someone as nice and understanding, I of course feel more of the fear in how things can go wrong, especially considering there are a lot of things about me where people jump to conclusions if they learn about. I wouldn't call it an abnormal feeling. Ironically it has helped me to know parallels in the other person when they come up, not to use as a motive to go after them but to know it's not one-sided and that it's all mutual. If you ever need anything, I'm always here for you.
Pffft.
It takes less than 10 seconds to find #5 of the rules here. So you know already that it is offtopic and it's going to get deleted.
Are you the lemmy police? stfu
Jesus dude get an escort and chill out. Stop thinking so much and be impulsive.
