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For me, the turning point was taking a bunch of classes on public speaking.
Getting in front of people helped me develop "personas" in unimportant contexts.
Now when I feel like I'm being weird, I can choose to retreat into one of my public speaking personas. And I can sort of hide inside the persona until whatever is bothering me passes.
The net effect on my interaction with the opposite gender is that when things get awkward, I become a kind of well rehearsed bland likeable that puts people at ease.
Only the people closest to me know that it's a mask I wear to cover my own confusion or discomfort. One of the people who knows is my life partner, but of course they like me anyway, now.