Ask Lemmy

I do not have kids. I got sterilized (had my fallopian tubes removed) in my mid 30s. I never really felt the urge to have them, and the idea of having them became more and more of an icky thought. I am a sleepy person who wakes up at noon on weekends. I'm messy and forget the laundry in the machine. I'm self centered and like to spend what I earn on me, or choose when I feel like gifting and giving to others. I'm picky, I like to find things exactly how I left them, and I don't like sharing with people who aren't my husband. I'm not a bad person, I just understand my behaviors and realize that I don't really have a responsibility to change as long as I'm child free. Add to that the fact that I have so many hobbies, a close knit group of friends, and a bunch of pets - I never feel bored or lonely and I know it'll only get better with age. Kids just never factored in.

absolutely not. I'm not interested in bringing anyone into this world to die in the climate wars

I don't and I don't plan to. It's however too soon to tell wether I'll regret that or not. Time will tell.

I can see the appeal of having kids but my current lifestyle is that I do what I want when ever I want and I don't really plan things ahead. I don't want to take the risk of having kids and then having to dramatically change my lifestyle only to realize it's not what I wanted and now I can no longer go back. I think that to have kids you have to want it. Now I just feel like it's something that's expected of me and I don't think that's a good reason to go ahead with it.

I’m sterile so I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. My country is in a piss-poor state right now and my hypothetical child would be raised in suffering and poverty.

I have kids and love it. There is 100% more trampoline in my life because of them. Mine are both autistic and have quirky interests which we've leaned into (visited the fan museum, attended the international carwash convention, and have spent countless hours at home depot, etc), so that's a little bit of a bonus. I have friends who don't have kids and are equally as happy. You just gotta choose the right path for you.

Got 2 boys. Love ‘em. It’s a lot of responsibility. You worry a ton when they get scarlet fever or break an arm (real examples in our lives). You’re busy AF trying to ensure normal order. It’s expensive. It can be difficult if a child is strong-willed.

But really, these 2 lives give my life its true meaning. I have high hopes for these boys. I’m only in my mid forties, but already think about grandkids.

I have 2 kids. One bit and one girl. Wish I had a third, but I got snipped after 2.

As someone in her early twenties, I am not a mom yet, but it has been on everyone's mind. Me and my six older siblings (five older sisters and one FtM brother) are Pacific Islanders adopted by Indian Islanders and so it seems to have been inevitable for children to be on everyone's mind, especially as my older siblings all are themselves foster parents. I could come as close as comfortably possible to it, but I don't have confidence in the idea of being a mom, not just because I don't think I could handle childbirth (if I chose not to adopt) but because I fear failing due to what I might mess up or not provide.

No, no and no. I just have no desire, and I find my life so much easier without them. I have nieces and nephews and children of friends who I love and am happy to engage with, but also happy that I am not responsible for them.

Had baby fever for about 2 years before my husband got his and we initially wanted at least 2. Had our son and the fever never returned. I didn't want to have another to appease society and end up with a child that I honestly would have regretted. I'm now happily one and done with an 8 year old. When things aren't going well, I have to remind myself and especially my husband that he's a child.

No, I haven't achieved my dreams yet (only 24) and yeah I want kids. I always dream about playing some epic games with my kids or teaching them generally.

I worked in education circa 2000-2016, every age from newborn to 20-somethings, nursery, pre school, most school ages, teens, young offenders institutes.

Pretty sure I would be a good dad as I kept my cool even when i got stabbed in the arm

Wife doesn't want kids and I'm not that bothered either way. Happy to be "Uncle" to my friends' kids.

No, no, and no.

I was born into a dying world. Before I was old enough to have a say, my elders sold our planet to corporations. Now, fascism is rising across the globe, global temperatures are reaching critical levels, and we're circling the drain of late-stage capitalism. To introduce new life to this world would be a mistake. I would never damn anyone else to my fate.

I've had to break off het relationships over not wanting to children, but I've never regretted it. If anything, each new horror that happens reinforces my vow.

I love my kids so much that it's changed my whole life. They have given value to my life that didn't exist before, they made me grow and it's an incredible experience to watch them grow. They made me happy, worried, scared, bored, proud and angry like nothing else ever did.
Yeah I sometimes envy my brother, who has all the money and time in the world to do whatever he wants. But I secretly pity him as well, because he lives like a grown-up, self-centerd child without true responsibilities, and all his toys and holidays feel meaningless to me.
I couldn't recommend this to anyone but it is a true magic happens outside the comfort zone-experience that will never go away.

No, no, no.

I’m a stepdad, so I chose this life and this kid. Their bio dad is pretty awful; the mental abuse has really messed this kid up in some ways. I’m glad to be a part of their life and show them they’re worthy of being loved (mom is great, but feeling rejected by dad will still do a number on just about anyone).

I wouldn’t want to have another kid now. If I’d been in the picture when the kid was a lot younger I think I would’ve wanted them to have a sibling; I think in general that’s pretty great to have (of course, situations vary). But now in our 40s and with this kid so close to finishing high school we definitely don’t want to start over. Plus we’ve learned my wife and her kid have a genetic condition for a chronic illness that can make life a lot harder, and it seems to be getting worse with every generation, so we wouldn’t want to risk passing it on.

When I was younger I was sure I didn’t want kids. As I got older I realized if I was with the right partner and they wanted kids then I’d be happy to try for them. I feel like having the right partner is key. It’s certainly possible to do a good job as a single parent, but with the right partner it’s a lot easier, or at least less challenging. If you’re not in a solid, supportive relationship that you can see lasting for the long haul—through ups and downs—then I would not recommend having kids, especially if you’re uncertain about the whole idea. It’s pretty much the biggest commitment and most responsibility any person will ever have.

I have 4 kids. I wanted 4 kids. I love my children and am so happy that I had them. NOT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE KIDS. They take all your resources. They come out of the box with factory settings that will drive you crazy. They are a really, really long commitment. I would say life long but sadly I've seen otherwise.

People will tell you that you should have kids because they think of all the joy and meaning they give to their lives. This is true. But other things can give you joy. Other things can give you meaning. If you don't like those other things you can just stop doing them. You can't (shouldn't) stop being a parent.

Lastly the answer can always be maybe someday but not now. You can adopt. You can foster. Fertility treatments or other options can extend viable child bearing years beyond what I would recommend, but once you have kids they are always there. Make the decision for yourself rather than allowing others to for you and you will be happier for it.

I have kids. I said I wanted them until it really hit home how much work it was. I didn't shy from the work though, and had 2 more. Now they are close to becoming adults and we are bonding over so many things. I would never do it again without them.

I have zero desire to procreate. If I ever get parental urges, I’ll foster.

Don't have kids, don't want kids, for a range of reasons from, legit seems cruel to force a human into the world, specially with how it's going, to there is far too much to do in this world that kids will prevent, and I just don't want them. Zero regrets, and happier each day with my decision not to have kids.

Absolutely fucking not. Me and my wife can't think of many things we'd want less, tbh.

i would to adopt one