this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
300 points (88.1% liked)

Memes

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's why I carry a pocket knife. I don't stab people, but I have it in case someone else would like to.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

We need more upstanding citizens like you in this world.

It's so embarrassing if you threaten someone at knife point, did the whole "your wallet or your life" spiel and then figure out that you actually don't have your knife with you.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Gotta help your friends get their long awaited lung cancer

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Anything to make healthcare cheaper

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Smoking causes slow, lifelong issues that will actually lead them to be in and out of the hospital regularly before they die unfortunately...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If they get Stage 4 cancer then they wouldn’t be in the hospital for long

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well you don't get stage four cancer, it's not like you can develop "Ultra Instinct Cancer" or anything. You just let it go unnoticed and then when you find it it's at S4.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 11 months ago

That’s what we need to hope for, which tends to happen since most people don’t like to go to the doctor to hear only “bad news.”

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't smoke, I just like melting things

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Lit 💯 🔥🔥🔥

PS: You can own the sun, btw. Just go somewhere where someone sells ownership for stars, and buy the sun then :)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Best summary of NFTs I've seen

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Summary of the concept of ownership in general tbh

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

New sci-fi story idea: a galactic war is fought over one of those fake deeds

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

It's a plot point in the Three Body Problem series :)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

So a coworker at one point was selling this interesting odds and ends offered me a knife with a lighter on the other side. I did need a knife to open things but I had no real use for a lighter as I don't smoke but I of course bought it anyway because it was cool. Had this little dial to adjust the size of the flame... Fast forward to later that night bending over with a 6 inch flame coming out of my pocket from the end sticking out.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Nah, screw that. I want no part in someones' ill health and probably littering habits too

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I don't smoke and don't carry matches or a lighter but have long hair (male) and regularly get asked for a sig and I say I don't smoke and I get this mean bullshit eye from these strangers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I did this when I was single.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Also it's pretty useful as a bottle opener if there isn't a corner or another bottle around.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I carried a lighter for a while. It worked fine when I put it in my pocket, but the first time I whipped it out for someone it didn't work at all. They say that that happens to lots of guys but I haven't carried a lighter since that day.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Me pulping a radio dj's head in New Mexico in the '50s so I can read a creepy poem on the mic

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm only having one for my intrusive thoughts.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Click click click click

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

You are just eliminating the concurrence

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago