God please kill me.
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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I don't want Bixby on my phone. That's a start.
I have a button on my phone that has one and only function - to piss me off.
So if it misconfigures shit which it will 100% do will Samsung be liable for legal claims?
Yeah, no thanks.
Also: screen spikes.
According to ET News, the company plans to implement an AI feature on its devices “that can predict what consumers want in advance by improving the performance of ‘touch points’ such as keyboard and camera.”
Every one of the 'features' results in the exact opposite of what I want the thing to do. I have become a grumpy old man yelling "Stop fucking helping!" at hardware and software that tries to be 'intuitive'.
Samsung devices already let you change various settings without opening the Settings menu using Bixby. However, this implementation requires users to trigger Bixby and issue a voice command. In contrast, the AI-powered solution could automatically change settings based on usage patterns.
I want it to be consistent dammit!
I want it to be consistent dammit!
YES.
In tech terms, "intelligent" or "smart" usually means inconsistent and unpredictable. It means I need to do extra work to verify that the computer didn't "helpfully" do something I never told it to do.
I understand autocorrect on phones, because phone keyboards suck very hard. I am still shocked that both Apple and Microsoft have decided to enable it by default on desktops and laptops with full keyboards. No, Apple, believe it or not, the username field in web sites is not supposed to have a capitalized first letter. If I wanted that, I have three whole keys on my keyboard that I could have used to do that. STFU and let me do my own typing. (Why usernames are case-sensitive in certain places is a whole other matter, one that's far outside my control.)
The absolute most infuriating one is dynamically placed menus, like how all the stupid video conferencing that move the menu bar to the top of bottom following seemingly arbitrary rules. Why does a nearly full screen window have the menu at the top and a full screen at the bottom? What does moving from top to bottom accomplish?
I fully hear you and agree.
Every 5 days there's a software update, for something that just changes one or two things slightly - but rarely if ever is it an improvement.
Oh, you want to do this simple thing you were able to easily do 3 days ago?
Now you have to change 4 nondescript settings, use 3 separate hotkey commands, watch a YouTube video, and troubleshoot for hours to get a once basic function to preform correctly.
I'd bet that the AI system will be used exclusively to identify + paywall things you'll want/need to use your phone.
seems like you want volume control, based on your history you want 1% volume. Subscribe to" basic functions" package to unlock a volume option. Upgrade to "basic functions premium" for up to 5 volume adjustments a week!
Still not enough AI control? The "basic functions unlimited" fully unlocks both volume buttons and for a limited time unlocks the spacebar for 5 minutes an hour from midnight to 6am!
Most of the software updates you see are a result of CI/CD processes. The industry claims it makes good design patterns to get features our faster and more reliably. In reality it is just a rushed shitstorm that results in half-assed Friday releases that aren't fixed until the following week.
I've long turned off auto update of my apps. Too many times I'm on a trip or other scenario where my tool is meant to be a tool and not some tech bro's rented wet dream, and the tool is broken.
But here's the kicker. CI/CD exists for another reasons or so:
- Frequent updates tend to reset review rankings in app stores. Not only does it offer plausible deniability to the app company, but it also screws with the review scores in their favor, as well as other rankings.
- Great way to help nudge along planned obsolescence. All that pointless rewriting of flash storage on a daily basis.
- Psychological manipulation, it gets notifications in your face to try and increase app engagement, which ensures it is fresh and running gathering user telemetry to sell as a side-hustle, as well as direct-interaction telemetry and getting more ads in your face.
It'd be better if we all just went back to landline phones some days. Modern tech is too noisy, abusive, and intrusive.
CI/CD processes.
What does this stand for, and what are these (in layman's terms anyway, not expecting a deep dive)?
Continous integration/ Continous delivery basically they keep pushing the latest developments as soon as it's avaliable and passes the tests.
You guys do tests (meme, I'm just too lazy to make)
My favorite podcast app, Overcast, recently had a huge overhaul and it went from working perfectly to being utter broken garbage for a couple months.
They definitely didn’t do tests. I think they just rushed it out to meet some deadline.
It’s usable now, but it was really gnar for a while.
I totally agree with you.
However there is one smart feature Samsung has that I like. The screen brightness auto adjusts based on the ambient light, but if I change that automatic brightness (I prefer the screen darker) it will remember that and consistently adjust the brightness.
I'm not sure it's really an AI feature..
Take the ambient light level (lux).
Set brightness to 5.
Log that the user has made it 1 level or 10% darker.
Next time it senses the same lux level, set the brightness 1 level lower
That's just an Android feature. And not at all something that requires a neural network.
Well shucks, I guess Samsung lied to me! I see adaptive brightness was released as part of Android Pie in 2018.
Yeah, I was thinking it could be machine learning in that it takes the average of all your changes over time and the different ambient light levels.
But deffo no need for neural networks.
Nope, I'll bet it is like five IF statements and the best part is that it is consistent!
So I was trying to think how I'd implement it, and I agree if it's simple then it really only needs to set the brightness level once, then remember if the user adjusts it, and reuse that adjustment for every lux reading.
Hence the example I gave:
Take the ambient light level (lux).
Set brightness to 5.
Log that the user has made it 1 level or 10% darker.
Next time it senses the same lux level, set the brightness 1 level lower
That is just a simple algorithm that uses .000001% processing power. I'm sure they will turn it into an AL feature that takes 2% power and is always slightly off of what I want it to be.
Samsung can go fuck themselves when i cant change what my phone does I'll just use my fucking steam deck as phone.
Yeah honestly i have previously considered just taping a raspberry pi to a portable touch screen and a powerbank and use that instead of a phone with how shitty phones are getting. Fairphone + Calyx is what stopped me from going down that route tho.
Tbh, im currently using a Pixel, they are... Actually quite good, even without another OS, wich you can install.
I even controlled what it uploads, it doesn't send data when i don't agree to it (living in EU) so im fine with it and a custom launcher (the normal one sucks).
Is Pixel, ironically, the only device with unlocked bootloader and seemingly with most control, i.e. ability to easily install another OS?
Yes, at least from what i know, maybe there is some DIY phones or maybe Nokia pulles some great phone out of their ass somehow, but currently i know only about the Pixels being actually good at what they do.
Fuck you, I'm not wading through your fuckass prompts when I could toggle one simple switch.
But how would you know if you like the new image carousel if we don't force it up in your face?
Imagine how easy it will be for them to hide default settings no one would even know existed.
No. Just....no.
I've never EVER encountered a predictive system that is more of a help than a hindrance
You don't like having it duck you over when you're really trying to duck? 😜
So a .config file that you can transfer between phones then right? Right, Samsung...?
I like the idea of AI. But I want it to be optional.
I'm going to be honest, I'm not a fan of talking to my phone. So I'd not want to use this so called feature. If they force this change this will be my last Samsung phone.
I just hope the other manufacturers don't follow suit.
and all of this of course will only work with a samsung account where you agree to share all your phone's data constantly; in addition a small monthly subscription fee, and then you can finally change your screen brightness of your phone again that you bought for a 1000 USD
rented
Gave up on Samsung after the S4, guess I will keep not buying their products
They problem is, one company leads and other's follow. It's hard to say for sure that this will remain a Samsung "feature".
The last thing I expected from Samsung.
What? I'm surprised they didn't already do this. You will do what Samsung wants or get get lost, that's the samsung way.
I stopped buying their phones when they started locking the bootloaders for the Qualcomm ones in the US. My last one was a galaxy s5. Sadly now I go with the pixel line directly from google, because I know it'll be unlocked.
And I'm never switching back. Fuck you very much, Samsung.
Their teevees and phones such solid hardware by such a bad software except it is good at tracking