this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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Tap for contextSome woman on the internet said she would feel safer spending a night in the woods with a random bear rather than with a random man

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[–] [email protected] 93 points 6 months ago (8 children)

Context: Some woman on the internet said she would feel safer spending a night in the woods with a random bear rather than with a random man

Some woman

Not "some woman" — quite a few women. Lots of women.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 6 months ago (15 children)

I’m a man and even I would pick a bear

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I too prefer chubby hairy men.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

finally, someone who gets me.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'd rather do neither but at least I know all the safety guidelines for how to not get a bear to tear my ass apart

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Right, this is what folks aren’t understanding.

Yes a big ass bear is clearly more dangerous but like in reality the random man is much more variable and there are WAY more examples of what we’re capable of as opposed to what a bear does.

A bears nature is understood.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Are we talking brown bears or black bears?

Brown bears are violently territorial and will attack you for being in eyeshot.

Black bears are basically giant racoons and will move away from people - especially if you're making loud noises and making yourself look big - because they don't want that smoke. They'll only get aggressive if you surprise them or get anywhere near their younglings.

I'd probably take a black bear over a lot of dudes. As long as we got a good hundred feet or so of distance, Mr Bear and I ain't gonna bother each other.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

Brown bears aren't human killing machines. They adjust their territory not to see people. Bears in general stay away from people and don't care enough to attack.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Totally agreed, the question is so vague it's absurd. Are we talking a panda or a grizzly? Is the man a locked-in paraplegic or an violent ex con?

Regardless how you answer there's always another possibility that makes your decision look stupid.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (22 children)

I am unironically bearpilled in this context. Men can be fucking scary with women. At least I'm unlikely to be SA'd before I die, with the bear.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

Bear seeing a lone person in the woods:

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I could fuck up any guy who tries to mess with me. A bear, not so much...

But at least I could reason with a bear.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I get the sentiment, but realistically I'll still pick the random man. A man could kill or rape me. A bear is likely to kill me.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Actually a bear is very unlikely to come after you. I come from an extremely rural part of Alberta, Canada, and large bears would sometimes wander in and near town. They wouldn't run around swiping people up and murdering them, they would just basically wander around eating garbage and looking for food. The reality is that if you were in the woods with a random bear, unless it was starving or you were near its Cubs, it likely wouldn't see you as important.

I'll tell you what though. The bodies of indigenous women would get found in the woods sometimes. Bears didn't put them there, men did.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (5 children)

As my wife put it, if the bear kill me, nobody would ask how I was dressed.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (9 children)

The bear discourse is the true measure of whether a given man is a red or green flag.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The correct answer is to raise both hands and eyebrows, excuse yourself from the table, walk off and keep walking until sufficient distance has been reached. Switching mode of transportation on the way is acceptable.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (6 children)

"Question. What kind of bear is best?"

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

hexbear.net users ahead of the curve

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

hexbear-majora

I think something else was in my bear pill

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

I'm incredibly bear pilled ngl, as long as I stay a decent distance from it and don't do anything dumb I'll be fine, with a random guy idk what might happen, there's no certain set of rules to follow to get me out of the situation safely - I'll probably be with a perfectly normal well adjusted guy or I might be with some super transphobe who sees a small visibly trans girl alone in the woods away from all civilisation with no witnesses or some incel who sees his opportunity to get some, regardless of consent. In the bear scenario, all of the power is in my hands to just make sure that I don't do anything dumb and as long as I don't I'll be fine, in the man scenario I just have to trust the luck of the draw to give me a decent man to be alone in the woods with.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Men seriously feeling the need to convince the world that they are not as dangerous as a wild bear.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I think men are out at this point. The question of "Bear Vs. Shark" however is still unanswered?

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