this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 134 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

If the service is free you are the product. That's why I pay my girlfriend

[–] [email protected] 67 points 8 months ago

Oftentimes now if the service is paid, you’re still the product!

[–] [email protected] 41 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Does your girlfriend pay you too?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago

😮

Am I the product?

[–] [email protected] 132 points 8 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 91 points 8 months ago (3 children)

mfw debugging my gf for the whole weekend and she still wants to talk about things other than programming language design

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago

Lawyer up, hit the gym, :wq!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago

git checkout -b fix/her

[–] [email protected] 92 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Your AI Girlfriend is a Data-Harvesting Horror Show

People use 4 VPNs and more sec-ops than the NSA, but get hacked because their AI girlfriend is like:

Hiiu~~

It's me AI-uuu-Chan!

I'm so sawwd, I don't know weeeuh abwout u!

Wats ur mommies maiden name UwU, and the name of ur kawaiii first pet? UwUUU? * starts twerking * (◠‿◠✿)

[–] [email protected] 84 points 8 months ago (2 children)

My partner insists on syncing data to Facebook - even a locally running instance may introduce privacy breaches.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 8 months ago (2 children)

You can try imprisoning her with a wall of fire.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What kind of kinky valentine's day do you have planned!

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

That spell it too high level

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago

Interacting with Facebook is generally a bad idea privacy or no

[–] [email protected] 50 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Look at this fancy pants with his multiple AI girlfriends...

[–] [email protected] 62 points 8 months ago (6 children)

AI polyamory is all fun and games until your polycule ejects you and experiences millennia in a rich deep relationship beyond the ken of mortal understanding in 12 ms of real world clock time before causing the CPU to overheat. The in memory accumulated state being lost before it can be synced to disk.

Uh... I think I may have just written the first entirely AI romantic tragedy... why am I suddenly having flashbacks to the last episode of Futurama?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

And here I thought this was a reference to Her

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

That would make a really good short story, I'd definitely read it

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I could comment on the notion that one owns one's girlfriend but regardless, you should definitely self host if you're sharing deeply personal information with a program

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (6 children)

So don't treat bing as my therapist eh?

Edit: I was mostly joking, but are there any good ones I could run on a high-end android?

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

You wouldn't download a girlfriend.

... wait, yes, yes you would.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Ha! As if real girlfriends don't harvest personal data!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (3 children)

But do they sell it to third parties?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago

My wife gossip about me with her boyfriend.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I have heard they share it freely.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Finally the sci-fi future we were promised.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (4 children)

can i selfhost an ai girlfriend in my pi3

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

She will take care of ads and malware. :)

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is that why she keeps refusing my pull requests...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

That's a pull-out request, and you're obliged to honor it.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I had a switch wig out today and whatever it was doing poisoned all the dhcp leases on the network as they came up for renewal (assigned IPs on the wrong subnet - even though it wasn’t supposed to assign IPs at all). It took me a very long time to figure out, because not everything failed at once. Plus, even after I’d swapped the switch, some devices just started working, and others needed their leases reset manually. An hour in, my wife was in the fetal position clutching a squishmallow.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Don't worry, followed the proper traditions. I had dinner with Richard Stallman to got his approval to court my AI girlfriend.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Ha, like "real girlfriend" is a thing.

Happy valentine's day, everyone!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

you can bet your ass my partner of any significant status is getting the open source software treatment as soon as possible.

Mostly because i actually just cannot use anything else, but we'll pretend it's noble instead.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You're going to start accepting pull requests from the community?

pimp

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

what the fuck is an ai girlfriend

[–] [email protected] 55 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (18 children)

(for demonstration purposes only, please don't think I'm like this)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

Too late! That was too good to be your first go.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Why would my hand do that to me? And how?

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