this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2024
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Casual UK

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I work in a warehouse surrounded by Europeans. What are some British insults I can teach them? (feddit.uk)
submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
NSFW 21 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I've already ran the gamut on jokes about Dicks.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Wanker is solid. Ballbag, a personal favourite Bellend, but you may have that already. Shitebag, Scottish one Useless as a chocolate teapot

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Everything in Blackadder

Once they've got that, move on to Malcolm Tucker level insults

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Tried to explain why 'Bob' was funny to them last week and they weren't having any of it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Jeremy Clarkson (RIP) once talked through the humour of Bob with Rowan Atkinson. It was a good explanation.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

My personal favourite is "blithering idiot".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Fuckwit is a traditional insult that I have found is often quickly taken into new arrivals hearts. My guess is, this is because it unites two words with very old IndoEuropean roots.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I think minger is pretty evocative

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I was in Malaysia once and a got chatting to a guy who didn't have the best English. He asked me for another way to say "I'm only joking" and I taught him to say "I'm only having a giraffe", which he managed in broken English ("Having a jee raff") I hope one day he says that to an Englishman and confuses him thoroughly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I'm having a Steffi. I'm having a bubble.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What do you mean? Having a jee raff honestly sounds perfect. I'll be in Malaysia in February so I'll teach that one to some locals. Also, having a gazebo.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

It's hard to put into text but the emphasis was on the ee. It was all wrong. But it made it so much better.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Numpty, plonker, twat, div, pratt

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Smeghead Or cockwomble.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

"Cockwomble" definitely gives off the impression of having looked up how to sound like a Brit on the internet! Big fan of smeghead though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

do these count

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Introduce them to the Muppets.

The use of "You Muppet(s)!" is one of my favourites.

(It effectively means "Adorable/endearing idiot")

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

I feel like if Peter Capaldi called me a Muppet I would not take it as "adorable" and more like "twat".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I hope to get a British person to call me a knob one day.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Good luck with that, you bellend.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Numpty

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago
  • Spanner - idiot
  • Weapon - idiot
  • Muppet - idiot
  • Nesh - wimp/soft
  • Snide - Nasty/Evil/Cunt