Ask Lemmy

Don't force your child to play mind games with their other parent or try forcing them to read out loud their entire text message history or explain their entire conversation they had with their other parent.

Don't force them to lie to their other parent but also try and force them to tell you every lie the other parent made.

Don't yell and scream at them or act pouty and manipulative when they say "No".

If you have a problem with your partner take it with then directly, if its not fixable then don't be together. Just please don't use your child to manipulate your partner into depression or anger and force your kid to "choose a side", it'll make them resent you both.

"Don't have kids."

Throw a couple Apple shares in a college fund for me.

If you want your children to engage in a certain behavior, you have to actively model that behavior. A kid isn't going to do the thing if they never see you doing the thing, no matter how much you call them out on not doing the thing.

How about instead of cheating on my mom, teach me how to talk to girls.... and don't cheat on my mom lol

I know you have my life mapped out, because as someone who desperately wants kids, it's impossible not to do that. But don't assume a kid is going to follow that plan. Some kids are gay. You both handled that news really, really well, but for real, why did you have to assume I was straight to begin with? I wish I could have told you when I was 14, but I had to deal with not being the thing you thought I was. As a result, I'm 32 and still don't have kids, because I got a really late start on the whole dating someone thing, and I've still never brought anyone home. It's not your fault, but next go round, try not to box your kids the way you were boxed in.

Also, Mama. Leave his ass. Do not marry him. It doesn't matter how upset Grandmama will be, she'll get over it. Just tell her you love her, and go raise that baby alone.

Mom, don't sacrifice your retirement savings to keep our lifestyle the same. It's not more important than struggling so hard in your retirement years. Your kids will get used to living with less, we'll get over any sadness we feel over it, as long as we're together.

Also, you have a bad case of sunk cost fallacy. You're going to lose the house over it.

Dad, if you run away from your kids when it gets tough, they are going to be traumatized, and it will come back to bite you when you're older. Your son especially will want nothing to do with you. Your last years will be lonely enough, don't abandon the only people who will be there for you.

Don’t.

Lay off the legal and illegal drugs, seriously. No, hiding them in a drawer isn’t baby proofing.

Children’s medications aren’t scams, they have different doses for a reason (the reason is usually risk of overdose).

Yelling and beating a child isn’t discipline and the southern Baptist church is a terrible place to take kids.

I worked through a lot of this in therapy, but it still annoys me that I had better risk management in my teens than my parents did in their 30s.

Maybe the problem is you and not the other people or the place or the employer. Get therapy

When your kid is bored with its input, it's okay to take it serious and see that it gets more/better input.

"Tough it out" is not good advice, no matter in what form it comes.

Children's tears are not an act. Not if it's a girl either. Check your bias.

Just because it didn't kill you, does not mean you have to do it to your kid.

Dear mom, run! Divorce! I'd still like to be alive and stuff, but you don't deserve this and neither do we.

I could write a novel here honestly but I'll keep it a bit brief:

Don't ask your toddler which parent they'll go with if you 2 get a divorce. If you don't love your partner you should get a divorce. Joint custody is a thing.

Don't "stay together for the kids" you will only cause them more mental harm in the long run.

Don't make your young children have to be the most mature person in the room. They should be allowed to be a kid.

Be at least somewhat involved in your kids lives, if you're not don't be surprised when they don't choose to involve you in their lives as they get older.

Validate your child's feelings. Let them know that you understand that they are scared and that it is ok to be scared.