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Wow, I'm surprised to see a Kafka hater! My experience of it has been mostly positive, and it seems to solve a lot of problems for people, if they use it as it should be used and not as a source of truth database.
And thats exactly why i hate it -my old company used it as a source of truth db. It was such a mess and id get calls in the middle of the night because data was being moved or held correctly.
Maybe one day ill use it as it was intended