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One can of no beans Hormel chili, one can of black beans, rinsed and (somewhat) dried. Mix in a big bowl, microwave until hot, add sour cream and shredded cheese, and use it like dip with tortilla chips. If you're good at rinsing the beans, and your microwave doesn't suck, you can have this ready in 5 minutes. And the only dirty dishes to deal with are a single large bowl, and a spoon.
Another thing I tend to eat a lot when I get home from work in the morning and don't want to do anything, is literally just a bunch a wheat thins, a block of pre-sliced sarento cheddar cheese, and a container of sliced pepperoni from the deli. Takes like 2 minutes to grab those while I'm waiting for the bus home from work. Fuck ton of sodium, though. Same with the chili, I guess.