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Cut my dad out a few years ago. Every now and then I hear something that makes me want to call and rage at him. But it'll never be worth the agony of knowingly letting him back into my life, the memories that I'm finally starting to get over.
I have a father in law and a boss who have shown me what a fatherly figure could be, and I'm shocked every time something goes wrong and it's not the start of the round bell ringing.
My boss is going to die sometime in the next year, is his third time through cancer and he's not pursuing heavy treatment, I've known him for 3 years and I've already cried more at the thought of not having him going forward, I've not shed a single tear after cutting my dad out. I've shed tears learning of the things he used to do, and tears wishing I'd spoken out.
If there's someone toxic in your life, and you have a group of people who understand you, that you trust, understanding and trust go so much further than manipulation anxiety and fear.