this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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Yes, the meme is referring to something else.
For some reason, cishet american men on dating apps love to put a picture of themselves holding up a fish they caught while fishing as one of their dating profile pics.
Nobody really knows why that’s supposed to attract a potential dating partner, but it’s really common.
Back when I did online dating I wrote about playing computer games, not because I expected that to be attractive to the average woman (of course it isn't) but because I was hoping to meet one of the rare women who shared my interest.
A friend of mine managed to marry a woman who agreed to have their honeymoon be a week-long canoe trip through the wilderness in Maine, complete with living off of the fish they caught. It can happen!
Damn, I am envious.
I can see it working to filter out incompatible partners.
Attraction.. maybe for someone looking for a certain kind of partner.
I can speak to this as a southerner, a lot of us were/are reluctant to take selfies, but something we have in spades are post hunting/fishing photos showing our catch. Also it's something a lot of us were raised to appreciate and surely women from our area appreciate it too (some do)
As someone who does not use dating apps, it seems to me that a lot of men who are not city dwellers get lots of joy out of fishing. It seems rather insulting to demean someone for showing one of their favorite activities to potential mates. To those who would do that, I would ask why not simply move on quietly?
Now that I think of it, those men are dodging bullets like Neo. Smart guys. If I ever decide to put myself out there, I'm putting up pictures of myself at a campground with a fishing rod and bicycle in the background. That should weed out any women who expect four star resorts, expensive restaurants, and expensive toys for their mere presence.
I think you’re misunderstanding the point of the whole meme, and by extension, what i have been saying. It may be more common for country dwellers, but it’s also incredibly common for city dwellers.
There is also never a woman in any of these pics. It’s usually a dude with a bunch of other dudes. I understand that it might be your hobby, and there’s nothing wrong with that being your hobby.
But if it’s a hobby you only share with other dudes and not your partners, and it’s the only hobby on your dating profile, and it’s the most common “only hobby i have pictures of myself doing” for men on dating sites, then at least one of the following isnt probably true:
again, i’m speaking from experience on dating apps, and from anecdotes from other women i know. It is incredibly common (i would guess, as a city girl, who only matches with other people in my city, and not surrounding rural areas, at least 20-40%) for a picture of you fishing with your guy friends to be the only picture of you doing anything you enjoy.
Even if that’s your primary hobby, there’s dozens of other dudes in my inbox for whom that is their only hobby that they care enough to take pictures of.
Otherwise you’re just showing me 3-4 face (and/or, for some reason, shirtless) pics and a pic of you fishing with your bros. It’s not appealing, and it’s far from unique. You’ve also not shown me anything we can do together, and your profile mentions nothing else either.
And no, i’m not looking for a man to take me to four star restaurants or whatever else you think i’m after. I make good enough money to cover my needs and hobbies and treat both myself and my partner with nice stuff and experiences. I want someone who is going to spend time with me, with whom i share hobbies, interests, and ideals.
I have a serious question for you. If a man is looking for a woman on a dating site, why would he post a bunch of pictures with women? I mean, it seems like it would raise more issues.
Do you want to see other women in his pictures to show that he is dateable? Maybe you want to compare yourself to his past relationships? As a man, I would not post pictures of me with women when I'm looking for a woman. The whole point is to highlight me and my eligibility, not raise questions of whether I'm a womanizer looking for my next conquest.
Then again, maybe that's what you're looking for? Someone who's cool, and has lots of women hanging around him? I don't know.
However, I do agree that if all he has on the profile is fishing, he's probably not doing much else. I'd include a whole lot more stuff.
Funny thing is, what you say you seek is what I used to seek, but somehow I always ended up broke and overworked when i was with women. Maybe you're one of the good ones I never found. Oh, well.
Ah
I'd guess it should send a "see how I can provide for food even without using money" kind of way?
But yeah it's stupid
To be fair if fishing is your passion it s normal to want to show it.
Honestly, is it so hard to believe that some people genuinely like fishing?
Agreed.
The alternative is probably a picture of the dude writing slurs in a comment section.
Honestly i think it’s much more realistic that most cishet men don’t take pictures of themselves often. But they do when they catch a fish, because that’s what fishy people do. It’s a dick-measuring contest amongst men where the dick being measured is “how big of a fish can i catch?”.
So it’s one of the only pictures you have of yourself, because men don’t tend to just take pictures of themselves just hanging out, there has to be a manly reason for men to take pictures of each other.
Also, often, men go out and fish together to get away from and complain about their partners, and usually, these fish pics come with a bunch of your friends going 👀😍🤯 at your fish.
And even if you’re not all of those negative things, it makes you far from unique. every boring cookie-cutter dude has a fish pic. look, i caught a fish, i am manly so i can provide for you with some average trout i found in a lake.
also, if this many men think “fishing is my most dating-profile worthy passion”, it says a lot. It doesn’t make you special because a good third of men on dating apps share that passion, and it honestly makes me expect a dick pic from you if i even bother matching with you. Maybe try showing off your other passions too?
You can just admit you have a general disdain for men. Maybe after admitting that, do yourself and all men a favor, and just leave men alone, lol.
I don’t have a general disdain for men. I do have a general disdain for toxic masculinity. There’s a huge difference between the two.
Look, you wanna put your fish pic in your dating profile? Go ahead. but it’s not impressive. Plenty of other men have bigger fish pics on their profile, and they’re equally unimpressive to anyone who isn’t into fishing.
I’ve never met another woman who had anything positive to say about a man on a dating site with fish pictures. Met plenty of other women who are equally as confused as i am about fish pics. Never even anyone saying “look how cute he is being proud of catching some fish of some size, isn’t he cute?”.
fishing isn’t a substitute for a personality.
Your entire comment you posted is just shitting on men and attributing the worst possible reasons you can imagine to them posting a fish photo. You continue in your second response to shit on men just because you don't enjoy a particular hobby some have.
No, not shitting on men. Shitting on people who put a picture of them fishing in their profile, and otherwise don’t care to list any other hobbies in their profile or show them in their pics.
Also, those fishing pics are always (i can’t prove always, but i’ve never seen a counter-example) just them and their dude friends, fishing to get away from their partners and complain about them. I don’t care what your “guys time” is, you deserve time away from me with your friends, just like i deserve time away from you with my friends.
That’s healthy. However, and again i am speaking from my own experiences here, i’ve never gotten a swipe on a dating app from someone who had a fishing pic, where any of the following is true:
If fishing is your hobby, that’s okay. But it shouldn’t be your only hobby. Also, if that hobby doesn’t generally include your partner, you’re not showing off to me what we might do together, you’re showing off to me what you would do to get away from me.
It's more a "I'm a manly dude who is good at catching fish! I enjoy leisure time on lakes and I have a boat!" than a promise that they'll eat the fish. At least half the time it's catch and release fishing anyway.
This - and besides, industrialists have polluted almost every lake and river so that eating those fish might kill you slowly. Being able to both catch and cook is an exhilarating experience when out in nature, though.
Yeah, where I used to live up north, even very remote lakes were poisoned with mercury said to be from coal burning in China. People were advised to not eat fish from the lake more than a few times a week or once a week for certain fish. So... tons of people just ignore that or don't even know about it because they either don't really understand or believe it, have poor information sources, enjoy the experience, or it's all they can afford.
I don't
I'm just unattractive.
Like oh hey, I have a house and a job and a really cute kid and here's one where I'm wearing a winter coat in 109F weather to show I'm funny
honestly I realize that dating apps are pretty much a scam.
Actually, they're so much of a scam I'm sitting here with my AI assistant and webstorm and thinking about how I'd make a more legitimate dating website and it would just end up making me money by selling useless services to desperate singles too busy to meet other people
You’re not “just unattractive”.
For one, there is no such thing as a line above which someone is attractive vs unattractive, at least not in general. Different people find different physical qualities attractive.
For two, physical attraction isn’t as important as you’re trying to pretend it is. Sure, to some people it is super important, possibly the most important aspect. Most people connect emotionally. Being pretty can get your foot in the door, but not much else.what are your standards for attractiveness? Are you willing to date someone who you think is as physically attractive as you see yourself?
Being pretty can get your foot in the door, but that’s it. You don’t build a relationship on “well i’m attractive so that’s why my partner wants to be with me”. Those relationships are empty and meaningless. Stop worrying about how physically attractive you think you are, and focus more on what makes you unique as a person, and what your passions are. You still won’t be guaranteed success, but you’ll be a lot more likely to find someone who vibes with you.
As for the scam bit? These companies often do have shady practices, they make money when people use it to date; they lose money when people find love and stop dating. But you can’t pay a company more to make other humans more attracted to you. If that’s how you see it, it will always be a “scam”. If you treat it as just a way to meet people, it’s a completely different story.
You can pay a dating app more money to make you visible to more people, but it won’t make you more appealing to the people on it.
Sure, you have a house, a job, and a child. Lots of people do. what are your passions? what drives you? what do you do when you have time completely to yourself? What brings you joy outside of dating?
job and life status don’t make us interesting except to superficial people. our passions and the things we love do. follow your passions. share those with the people you want to date. your pictures and how physically attractive you are are practically meaningless.
We just don't have a lot of photos of ourselves, I'd imagine even less selection if you only count recent photos since that's probably what you would want to put on a dating profile.
I agree. Take more pictures of yourself out having fun. especially if that fun involves both men and women (assuming you’re a straight man looking for a woman). Show potential partners things you want to do with them, not things you want to do with your bros to get away from them.
Take more pictures of yourself. Have your bro friends take pictures of you while you’re out. Tell them you want them to because it’ll help your dating site profile.
If you don’t have pictures of yourself, you probably won’t have many pictures of either me or us if we were together. Take more pictures. Get friends to take pictures of you. Get pictures of yourself having fun, not just showing off whatever fish you just caught.
You didn’t take that fish pic because you wanted a picture of yourself. You took it because you wanted a picture of the fish. You’re only in the damn pic yourself to prove it was you who caught the fish, there would be no picture of you if there was no fish.